Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts tagged cult

The GOP suicide cult

The GOP suicide cult

Sometimes bad news can be good news. Soon Senate Republicans will reject impeachment witnesses and acquit Traitor Trump. When that happens, their white-supremacist and evangelical Christian cult will celebrate without realizing that the acquittal will backfire bigly. That’s because the rest of America will know that the GOP sold out their country to protect the […]

Trump’s impeachment: we all know how this will turn out

Trump’s impeachment: we all know how this will turn out

I feel like I should write something about the impeachment of Donald Trump, but we’ve all known how this is going to turn out for months: Impeachment will pass the House on party lines (give or take a few people) and go to the GOP-controlled Senate, where they will fail to convict on similar party […]

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Like many of you, I learned this week that liberals had declared war on Thanksgiving, and that Fox News and Trump cultists get very angry and explode in a high-blood-pressure rage at the very thought of renaming the holiday to call it “Celebrate Immigrants Day” and include brown people in what they believe is a […]

Did Sen. Rand Paul just commit a crime?

Did Sen. Rand Paul just commit a crime?

“I say tonight to the media, do your job and print his name.”—Sen. Rand Paul at yesterday’s Trump Cult Rally in Kentucky Fact: Federal whistleblower laws protect the identities of people who bring forth accusations of wrongdoing by government officials. That means that Sen. Rand Paul, with Donald Trump nodding and clapping behind him, demanded […]

President KKKlueless and the Climate Action Summit

President KKKlueless and the Climate Action Summit

So President KKKlueless showed up at the Climate Action Summit, not to talk about our climate crisis and the mass extinctions, human deaths, and wars that will result from it, but instead to walk into an adjacent conference room to give a speech about religious persecution. Yes, this from the Muslim Ban President! In actuality, […]

Trump and his Cult of Chumps

Trump and his Cult of Chumps

Hey Trump fans! Can any of you honestly say that you would have been hunky dory if Obama were president and Congress had subpoenaed three of his people to testify, but two ignored the subpoena and the one that showed up stonewalled—all doing so on Obama’s instructions? I realize that asking you about honesty is […]

Advice from Larry the Gator

Advice from Larry the Gator

Marty’s photo of the day #2999: A few years ago, I was hiking in the Everglades and came across this big guy, blocking my path. So I sat down, and the two of us had a wonderful conversation, solving all the world’s problems. It turns out that the gator’s name is Larry, and according to […]

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought: When I first learned that actress Alyssa Milano was calling for a sex strike to protest the strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures, I thought, “Hey, great idea!” Then I thought: Such a strike would only affect liberal men like me, who respect a woman’s right to make choices for […]

GOP and Toady Barr: have you no decency?

GOP and Toady Barr:  have you no decency?

This week’s Mueller Investigation events, as interpreted by Marty Essen: 1) Robert Mueller presents his report to Trump’s toady, William Barr. 2) Attorney General Toady takes the extensive Mueller report, ignores what might hurt Crybaby Trump, creates a four-page summary that the Crybaby and his cult can campaign on, and presents it to the House […]

Trump is too stupid to collude

Trump is too stupid to collude

So Robert Mueller, a registered Republican, and Donald Trump’s own Republican attorney general, William Barr, apparently couldn’t find a reason to charge Donald Trump with colluding with Russia during the 2016 election. Now Republicans, including the crybaby himself, are demanding an apology. What if the president under investigation had been Obama and the people who […]

The Republican love affair with DDT

The Republican love affair with DDT

Marty’s photo of the day #2838: I have a relative who is everything Donald Trump. Arguing with her is fruitless, but you would think some right-wing conspiracy theories would be so obviously wrong that even right-wingers could see it. One of the conspiracy theories she argues for is that Rachel Carson’s book “Silent Spring” was […]

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—making Republicans so, so afraid.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—making Republicans so, so afraid.

By making Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez their latest supervillain, the Republicans are unwittingly doing her a favor. She’s already more well-known than many who have served in congress for 30 or more years. I watched the Ocasio-Cortez interview on 60 Minutes last night, and she was poised and intelligent. She’s also on the correct side […]

Trump and the GOP got their asses kicked

Trump and the GOP got their asses kicked

When you hear Donald Trump and the Republican Cult claim the Blue Wave didn’t happen, keep these figures in mind: Total Republican votes for House: 48,370,608 Total Democratic votes for House: 53,305,729 Total Republican votes for Senate: 34,260,424 Total Democratic votes for Senate: 47,886,605 Total Republican votes for Governor: 41,331,517 Total Democratic votes for Governor: […]

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

Marty’s photo of the day #2708: There’s only one thing Tiny Trump wants more than dating Ivanka Trump, being best buddies with Kim Jong-un, golden showering with Vladimir Putin, and making women and minorities second class citizens—that’s defeating Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester. Okay, maybe he wants to date Ivanka and shower with Vladimir a […]

Trump’s Tester vendetta

Trump’s Tester vendetta

Donald Trump’s vendetta to defeat Senator Jon Tester continues today. This will be Trump’s fourth Montana visit (in addition to him sending Mike Pence here three times and Donald Trump Jr. more times than can be counted). Because of his desperation for revenge and to show he can influence Montanans, Trump gets more and more […]

Brett Kavanaugh please report to . . .

Brett Kavanaugh please report to . . .

“On behalf of our nation, I would like to apologize to Brett and his family for the terrible pain and suffering that you have been forced to endure.” —Donald Treason Trump (at Brett Blackout Kavanaugh ceremonial swearing-in) “On behalf of our 65,844,954 sane American voters, I would like to apologize to the rest of the […]

Republicans fearmonger socialism

Republicans fearmonger socialism

One thing amazing about the Republican Cult is how easily they are able to get everyone in line for something to be scared about. Last election it was brown people, and the result was Treason Trump—“anointed by God.” This election it’s socialism, and they have made Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez their “monster” to be afraid of. With […]

The longest migration on Earth

The longest migration on Earth

Marty’s photo of the day #2594: This is a tiny segment of the Porcupine caribou migration. These caribou migrate between Canada and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska. Their 800 mile-long migration is the longest of any land animal on Earth. Now that the Republican cult and Rut Leader Trump have opened up the […]

Republicans: What is wrong with you people?

Republicans: What is wrong with you people?

Hey Republicans! Answer me this: Why is it that when it comes to protecting our children from mass shooters (a real threat) that “thoughts and prayers” are all you are willing to give, yet when it comes to protecting our country from foreign invasion (an imagined threat) you think that spending more on our military […]

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

This year, my two favorite terms are “microphallic compensation tools,” for assault rifles, and “fetish patriotism,” for the hyper-patriotism that both the military and the far-right generate to keep the cash flowing for new military toys. With today being Veterans Day, fetish patriotism will be at an all-time high. It’s quite possible to be a […]

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