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Deb and I own thousands of trees on the Essen Wildlife Refuge. Nevertheless, the trees aren’t always in the right place. A gravel road passes by on the far side of our property, and I’m getting tired of the dust from vehicles passing by. So this year, I’m transplanting trees from one side of the […]
This is Woodena, my new pet tree! She is a rescue tree. My spring project has been to move some of the tiny spruce trees on the far side of the Essen Wildlife Refuge and transplant them along the gravel road that passes by Deb’s and my house. I have been busy watering them and […]
For all my book reader friends out there, I have a question for you. Suppose the protagonist in the novel you are reading is in a car, trying to escape the villain. He/she is racing down a country road and must slam on the brakes to narrowly avoid hitting something (a dog, a dead-end sign, […]
Humans have created thousands of gods/religions throughout history, each believing theirs is the one true god/religion and that all the others are delusions. Since both ancient and current history has proven the three major Middle Eastern religions incapable of peaceful coexistence, if a person must practice a religion, why not try a different one from […]
Marty’s photo of the day #5009: And then the Easter Sea Lion delivered shiny blue fish to all the pups in the sea. (Photographed earlier this year in the Galapagos Islands.)
In the Belize chapter of my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, I tell a story about getting up before sunrise for a solo rainforest hike. When I accidently hiked into an enclave of orb weaver spiders, I humorously called them “Belizean fangs-o-death.” Ever since that moment, all orb weaver spiders, […]
Marty’s photo of the day #4924: This perfectly placed Christmas tree worm cracked me up. Each coral-dwelling Christmas tree worm has two crowns (trees) that filter water and trap food. What do you see? Is the worm simulating an owl, a snowman, or Elton John? Photographed last month in the Raja Ampat of Indonesian New […]
This is Rock. Rock is a god. He is 100 percent guaranteed to be every bit as real as every other god. In fact, Rock God has many advantages over other gods: 1. Rock God isn’t afraid to show his face in the era of cameras. Anyone can see Rock God. 2. Rock God doesn’t […]
Marty’s photo of the day #4679: The face one makes upon hearing that the Orange Idiot has imposed a tariff on your island, uninhabited by humans. (Female elephant seal, photographed on a tiny island off the coast of Antarctica)
Dogs are truly a superior species. While the humans in Nellie’s family fret over greedy Nazi and felon co-presidents who are willing to let people die for a tax cut, all she needs to make her smile is a deep pile of fresh snow. Oh, and frozen deer poops—winter chocolates!
The Silver Squad: Rebels With Wrinkles is totally original. But if I had to list my influences for this novel they would be a dollop of Harold and Maude, a pinch of Dexter, a sprinkle of Thelma & Louise, a dash of Bonnie and Clyde, a quiver of Robin Hood, and a curmudgeon of A […]
The Silver Squad: Rebels With Wrinkles is your ticket to escape the real world when you’re tempted to hide under the covers for the next four years. Buy at your favorite bookstore today!
Published today: The best and funniest book I’ve written to date. The national prepublication reviews have been amazing, and now it’s your turn to read. The Silver Squad is the perfect novel to escape into when the real world makes you want to hide under the covers for the next four years. Buy it at […]
The reviews are in—and they’re fantastic! The Silver Squad: Rebels With Wrinkles will be published tomorrow, but there’s no need to wait. Pre-order at bookstores everywhere today!
Marty’s photo of the day #4555: Exclusive capture via motion-sensing camera! Donald Trump trots out his new cabinet!
Marty’s photo of the day #4535: He is risen! Formerly known as the Republican Jesus, the resurrected Trump Jesus isn’t just for worthless prayers after school shootings anymore, he’s also there whenever you need him to justify a minority group to hate. Just pick a group and despise them in Trump Jesus’s name, and it […]
Marty’s photos of the day #4520-4522: The bathroom signs on the island of Bonaire cracked Deb and me up. She especially liked the top one, and I had to agree—particularly when it comes to Kamala Harris vs. The Ancient Orange Fascist.
Marty’s photo of the day #4514: So last month, Deb and I were snorkeling through the mangroves along the coast of Bonaire, and up pops Steve Irwin to remind us about not getting too close to the stingrays.
Marty’s photo of the day #4795: This is Eve (23 years old) and her daughter Lara Flynn Boa (12 years old). As documented in the Bible (Genesis 3), snakes can talk. And as if proving the Bible true, Eve spoke to me last night! She said, “Thou shall not post the Ten Commandments in all […]
Marty’s photo of the day #4755: These are western painted turtles, photographed in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana. And I found out their names! The one on the left is Mitch; the one on the right is his brother Mitch; and the one on the bottom is his other brother Mitch.
