Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts tagged NRA

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

“Psst . . . Hey, ammosexuals and fetish patriots . . . Republican Jesus here. Sorry to have to hide in your refrigerator like this, but I have a super-secret message for you that has to remain just between you and me. I know you have two major fantasies: “Your first fantasy is that you […]

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Hi! Republican Jesus here. I just want to tell all you liberals out there to stop the Capital Gazette shooting blame game. Just because Saint Donny has proclaimed mainstream media the “enemy of the American People” and rails about them on Twitter and at his MAGA ego-enhancement rallies, it does not mean that he is […]

Yes, I do take requests

Yes, I do take requests

Marty’s photo of the day #2494: I worked my way through high school and college as a DJ at radio stations WEBC and KQDS in Duluth. That avocation is long behind me, but I still take requests. Yesterday a friend wrote and requested a marmot picture. So let me, uh-um, clear my throat and find […]

Propping up the micro-phallic compensator business

Propping up the micro-phallic compensator business

A news story in this morning’s paper reports that the Trump Administration has pledged financial support to states to start arming and training teachers. Aside from the plan being insane, I object to paying for the guns and training with my tax dollars. Republicans managed to write into law a provision that made sure that […]

Death penalty for drug dealers? Then be consistent and . . .

Death penalty for drug dealers? Then be consistent and . . .

Yesterday Führer Trump aroused his followers by endorsing the death penalty for drug dealers. He suggested that the penalty was appropriate because people die incidentally as a result of the drugs the dealers sell. Okay, but if we’re going to punish people with the death penalty for incidental deaths, we must be consistent and punish […]

A different view of the United States Capitol

A different view of the United States Capitol

Marty’s photo of the day #2475: Greetings from Washington, DC! I have a show on Tuesday at Northern Virginia Community College in Manassas (a DC suburb). Here’s a photo of the United States Capitol that I took the last time I was here. If it looks strange, it’s because I captured the image at night, […]

Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and Prayers: Thought: If the United States truly is the greatest country in the world, it must flip-off the NRA and the ammosexuals and follow Australia’s lead with respect to guns. Prayer: Hey, God. You’ve chosen to ignore the millions of prayers to stop senseless mass shootings, and you haven’t resurrected even a single […]

The silver lining of the Trump presidency . . .

The silver lining of the Trump presidency . . .

The hypocrisy and disingenuousness of conservative Christians has never been more apparent than it is now with their support of everything Donald Trump. First, they voted overwhelmingly for Trump, who is the opposite of the Jesus depicted in the Bible, then they supported Trump when he attempted to take away health care, gave corporate polluters […]

Yay, America! We’re #1!

Yay, America! We’re #1!

During the past month I have been working from 4:30 in the morning until 9:00 at night every day, putting the final touches on my new book Time Is Irreverent. Consequently, I’ve had very little time to pay attention to the news. I now have a bit of a break, as I just sent my […]

American gun death resurrections

American gun death resurrections

Soon Republicans and the NRA will agree to make it a bit harder to acquire bump stocks. Then they’ll puff out their chests, tell us all how much they care, and go on offering prayers for the victims of the next slaughter—and the next. If prayers were effective against America’s gun death epidemic, victims would […]

Satan and the NRA

Satan and the NRA

In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Senator Claire McCaskill has called on the NRA to do some “soul searching.” While I appreciate Senator McCaskill’s comments, if we wait for the NRA to find its soul, nothing will ever get done. The NRA, CEO Wayne LaPierre, and its membership all sold their souls years […]

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

When I told Martyman that it was too soon after Las Vegas to make a political statement about how easy it is to buy high-capacity, rapid-fire guns in America, he said to me, “That’s what right-wingers always say! Yet after mass shootings, what do those people do? They hurry out to buy more microphallic compensation […]

A calming flower for an infuriating day

A calming flower for an infuriating day

Marty’s photo of the day #2324: What kind of photo do you post on the morning of yet another mass shooting? I ultimately decided on this beautiful flower, but only because it’s calming. Tell us again, NRA and NRA-supporting voters and politicians, why is it more important for you to have easy access to rapid […]

Martyman blends in with the new conservative look

Martyman blends in with the new conservative look

Marty’s photo of the day #2068: With Donald Trump’s presidency less than a week away, Martyman has decided it would be safest if he tried to blend in with the new, trendy conservative AmeriKKKa fashions. Here he is, combining the ever popular, NRA-friendly “armed bull” look, with the cutting edge, Trump-friendly “Putin is such a […]

The high price Republicans paid for Donald Trump

The high price Republicans paid for Donald Trump

Flash back to the year 2000. George W. Bush became president of the United States with the help of Florida Governor Jeb Bush and a politically motivated, right-leaning Supreme Court. Later George W. Bush would do the worst thing any U.S. president could ever do: he’d lie to start a war. President Obama followed President […]

Don’t have a cow, Martyman!

Don’t have a cow, Martyman!

Those of you who follow Martyman will be glad to know that he has successfully returned from his time traveling adventure to the “2018 Annual joint KKK and NRA ‘White Friday’ sheet and Uzi sale” on the White House lawn. One thing people kept telling him, in 2018, was to “not have a cow” about […]

Martyman gets locked up—in 2018!

Martyman gets locked up—in 2018!

I rarely re-read novels, but I’m doing that with one of my all-time favorite novels, “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” Martyman was reading over my shoulder, so I commented to him, “It’s really too bad we can’t time travel. We could check in with America two years from now and see how we’re surviving the Trump […]

Why fer-de-lances are better than Donald Trump

Why fer-de-lances are better than Donald Trump

Marty’s photo of the day #1937: You are looking at a fer-de-lance that I photographed in Costa Rica. It’s the deadliest snake in the Western Hemisphere (although it’s not the most venomous). I know some followers of my blog cringe when I post snake pictures. But wouldn’t you rather look at this snake than Donald […]

Shouldn’t be being shot by a police officer be one of the most difficult things to happen to a human being?

Shouldn’t be being shot by a police officer be one of the most difficult things to happen to a human being?

After watching videos of the police shootings of the black men in Tulsa and Charlotte, I have to wonder: why are police officers even issued Tasers? In both situations, if violence was even necessary, a Taser would have done the job just as effectively as a gun. Not all police officers are bad. I remember […]

From the New Ammosexual Bible

From the New Ammosexual Bible

Marty’s photo of the day #1823: Here’s a passage from the New Ammosexual Bible: For I received from Lord NRA what I also delivered to you: that the Republican Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took an assault rifle, and when he had given thanks, he loaded it, and said, “This is my […]

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