Three people were shot at the Minnesota State Fair last night. Having lived much of my life in Minnesota, I’ve been to that fair many times. Never once did I think, “Oh, I wonder if there will be a shooting while I’m there?” But now, such a thought enters the minds of millions of Americans attending public events: “I wonder if there will be a shooting where I’m going?”

F*ck guns! F*ck the NRA! F*ck Republicans! F*ck the misinterpreted Second F*cking Amendment! Obviously a significant number of Americans have not evolved enough to handle guns responsibly. F*ck ‘em all! It’s time to take their f*cking guns away. Or at least follow the examples of Australia and the UK and make guns f*cking difficult to acquire.

*This message has been brought to you by the word f*ck. We’d spell it out for you, but ammosexuals needed the vowel to replace the one that became dislodged from the gun they sat on to f*ck themselves.