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Marty’s photo of the day #2346: This is the Bear Glacier in British Columbia. The lake at the toe of the glacier is Strohn Lake, which didn’t exist until the 1940s. I took this picture in 2002, and I’m shocked by the recent pictures of the melting glacier visitors have posted on the Internet. It’s […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2342: Ever since I took this photo, I have imagined this bison with the voice of Foghorn Leghorn. Can’t you just hear it? “I say, boy, pay attention when I’m talkin’ to ya, boy!”
Marty’s photo of the day #2341: Yesterday, I posted a photo of a gorgeous orange caterpillar that I photographed on the island of Borneo. In response, Cheryl Bruso commented: “Oh man beautiful picture but every time I see orange I think of . . . well, you know. Do slugs and leaches come in the color orange […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2334: As you probably heard, Psycho Don challenged Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to an IQ test contest. What you probably haven’t heard is that a third contestant entered the contest and won. I’m proud to share with you an exclusive photo of that third contestant and winner! Congratulations Mr. […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2331: Okay, I have to admit that life was boring around my house this past weekend. My wife was in Portland, and I spent most of my time staring at my computer screen, waiting for my editor to email me the long-overdue edits for my new book, “Time Is Irreverent.” […]
On Wednesday, my wife made me a big pot of chicken and dumpling soup, before leaving to teach weaving classes in Portland. That means it’s just the dogs, Martyman, the Republican Jesus, and me in the house until Monday. I can cook, if I have to, but I have been busy working on various projects […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2328: A message from the Republican Jesus: “Hi there! I just want to remind all of my sheep that no one, even me, can have enough firepower. Whether you own 47 guns or just 10—bring them to schools, concerts, churches, and movie theaters. You never know when you’ll get to […]
Martyman is now on the ground in Puerto Rico, helping with the hurricane relief efforts. He had stowed away in the carton containing the paper towels Donald Trump tossed into the crowd. When I asked Martyman how he was able to know which roll to hide in, so he’d actually be thrown by our egomaniacal […]
In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Senator Claire McCaskill has called on the NRA to do some “soul searching.” While I appreciate Senator McCaskill’s comments, if we wait for the NRA to find its soul, nothing will ever get done. The NRA, CEO Wayne LaPierre, and its membership all sold their souls years […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2323: Martyman is in his big chair, all excited to watch the Minnesota Vikings football game. And, of course, being a political action figure, he’s taken a knee, so he can protest police brutality toward blacks, during the National Anthem. I don’t have the heart to tell him that “taking […]
Republican issues, based on what politicians and voters write in newspaper op-eds and letters to the editor: 1) Nothing is more important than preventing undeserving people from getting something they didn’t earn (except for us, of course). 2) Any protest not intended to support our eroding white rights or Donald Trump is either […]
If a Donald Trump tweets in the night, and he doesn’t misspell any words, is he still an incompetent narcissistic psychopath?
Greetings from the New Orleans International Airport! Have you ever had a dream where you stand up in an auditorium to give a speech and have no idea what you are going to say? I had close to that today at South Louisiana Community College. I was booked to present back-to-back performances of “Around the […]
When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.
Marty’s photo of the day #2307: Martyman is all excited, because I gave him a $5,000.00 bill. “With all this money, I can impress the ladies,” he said. “Maybe I can even get a mail-order stripper-bride, just like Melania Trump! Did I say stripper? I mean ‘high-class model-bride.’” Poor Martyman is in for a letdown. […]
1) My wife, Deb, and I seldom argue. But when we do, she kicks my ass. I’m good at arguing points in writing, as I have a moment to think things through. In verbal arguments, I all too often come up with the perfect thing to say, ten minutes too late. 2) The two of […]
While I wait for the editing and cover art to be completed for my new science-fiction political-satire, Time is Irreverent, I have plenty of work to do, running my talent agency. One of those jobs includes updating my list of more than 7,000 college talent buyers. It’s a tedious task, as I have to visit […]
Now that Donald Trump has picked Jim Bridenstine (a global warming denier with no science experience) to head NASA, he must be consistent and pick Thomas Röhler (the Olympic gold medalist javelin thrower) to be the White House proctologist.
Obviously the presidenting lessons Obama gave Little Trumpy didn’t take. So now it’s time for an intervention. All of the living presidents need to show up at the White House, have a sit down with the little guy, and tell him that big boy presidents don’t threaten with nukes.
I’m skeptical of any religion that proclaims humans are made in God’s image. Surely, if there is a god, she wouldn’t have copied her unnecessary appendix, disease-prone internal organs, or that Tommy John thingy that inevitably tears after a pitcher signs a multi-million dollar contract. And imagine how disappointing heaven would be if God’s closest […]
