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Martyman is now on the ground in Puerto Rico, helping with the hurricane relief efforts. He had stowed away in the carton containing the paper towels Donald Trump tossed into the crowd. When I asked Martyman how he was able to know which roll to hide in, so he’d actually be thrown by our egomaniacal […]
In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Senator Claire McCaskill has called on the NRA to do some “soul searching.” While I appreciate Senator McCaskill’s comments, if we wait for the NRA to find its soul, nothing will ever get done. The NRA, CEO Wayne LaPierre, and its membership all sold their souls years […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2323: Martyman is in his big chair, all excited to watch the Minnesota Vikings football game. And, of course, being a political action figure, he’s taken a knee, so he can protest police brutality toward blacks, during the National Anthem. I don’t have the heart to tell him that “taking […]
Republican issues, based on what politicians and voters write in newspaper op-eds and letters to the editor: 1) Nothing is more important than preventing undeserving people from getting something they didn’t earn (except for us, of course). 2) Any protest not intended to support our eroding white rights or Donald Trump is either […]
If a Donald Trump tweets in the night, and he doesn’t misspell any words, is he still an incompetent narcissistic psychopath?
Greetings from the New Orleans International Airport! Have you ever had a dream where you stand up in an auditorium to give a speech and have no idea what you are going to say? I had close to that today at South Louisiana Community College. I was booked to present back-to-back performances of “Around the […]
When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.
Marty’s photo of the day #2307: Martyman is all excited, because I gave him a $5,000.00 bill. “With all this money, I can impress the ladies,” he said. “Maybe I can even get a mail-order stripper-bride, just like Melania Trump! Did I say stripper? I mean ‘high-class model-bride.’” Poor Martyman is in for a letdown. […]
1) My wife, Deb, and I seldom argue. But when we do, she kicks my ass. I’m good at arguing points in writing, as I have a moment to think things through. In verbal arguments, I all too often come up with the perfect thing to say, ten minutes too late. 2) The two of […]
While I wait for the editing and cover art to be completed for my new science-fiction political-satire, Time is Irreverent, I have plenty of work to do, running my talent agency. One of those jobs includes updating my list of more than 7,000 college talent buyers. It’s a tedious task, as I have to visit […]
Now that Donald Trump has picked Jim Bridenstine (a global warming denier with no science experience) to head NASA, he must be consistent and pick Thomas Röhler (the Olympic gold medalist javelin thrower) to be the White House proctologist.
Obviously the presidenting lessons Obama gave Little Trumpy didn’t take. So now it’s time for an intervention. All of the living presidents need to show up at the White House, have a sit down with the little guy, and tell him that big boy presidents don’t threaten with nukes.
I’m skeptical of any religion that proclaims humans are made in God’s image. Surely, if there is a god, she wouldn’t have copied her unnecessary appendix, disease-prone internal organs, or that Tommy John thingy that inevitably tears after a pitcher signs a multi-million dollar contract. And imagine how disappointing heaven would be if God’s closest […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2280: Once again the Republican Jesus has taken over my photo of the day: “Hey suckers . . . I mean God-fearing patriotic gun-loving conservatives! Our great white leader, Donald Trump, needs your help. Because some libtards couldn’t handle the fact that many Nazis and white supremacists are ‘very fine […]
It is unacceptable for Trump’s staff, Republican politicians, or Trump voters to say “Trump went rogue” on Tuesday, when he equated Nazi white supremacists with people protesting white supremacists. Trump didn’t go rogue. He went modus operandi! No one who paid enough attention to the presidential campaign to vote should be surprised by even one […]
Because I write liberal newspaper guest columns, right-wingers frequently criticize me in follow-up letters to the editor. I don’t have a problem with their letters. After all, I got to say my side; it’s only fair they get to respond. That being said, I find it amusing that by far their most frequent criticism of […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2271: This is one of the most unusual butterflies I have ever photographed. Has BP genetically modified butterflies to advertise their brand? Or instead of BP, is that an 89 on the insect’s wings? If so, what does it mean? Perhaps it’s a warning to us that 89 percent of […]
Like pizza and beer, sometimes quotes are better together: “I’m going to surround myself only with the best and most serious people. We want top of the line professionals.”—Donald Trump (before getting rid of Scaramucci, Priebus, Spicer, Flynn, Manafort, and others) “Look at those hands. Are they small hands?”—Donald Trump (before handing the magnifying glass […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2259: Numerous people have been requesting the return of Martyman. I apologize for his long absence, but he has even less of a social filter than Orange Temper Tantrum Man. Consequently, he doesn’t understand that there is a fine line between criticizing our deranged supreme leader and saying something that […]
If Donald Trump Jr. doesn’t have to go to jail for colluding with the Russians, can we at least send him back to Africa until he eats every last piece of the leopard and elephant he killed to get his rocks off?
