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Today is a National Day of Mourning for President George H.W. Bush. The US Postal Service is closed, federal offices are closed, some banks are closed, and even some schools are closed. This may get me in trouble, but I just can’t mourn the death of someone who lived to be 94, had an estimated […]
As an author and a public speaker, I’m careful to use accurate words in professional situations. In casual situations, I’m much more prone to language misuse. Here are two recent casual examples: On the subject of humor: I mentioned, how for me, I’m most successful getting people to laugh when I use self-depreciating humor. (I […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2728: This photo is for those who have had their hearts ripped out, witnessing children of asylum-seekers, crying in pain, due to Donald Trump’s tear gas. Here are some children from south of the border, just being kids, and having a great time. (Photographed in Iquitos, Peru)
Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]
When you hear Donald Trump and the Republican Cult claim the Blue Wave didn’t happen, keep these figures in mind: Total Republican votes for House: 48,370,608 Total Democratic votes for House: 53,305,729 Total Republican votes for Senate: 34,260,424 Total Democratic votes for Senate: 47,886,605 Total Republican votes for Governor: 41,331,517 Total Democratic votes for Governor: […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2708: There’s only one thing Tiny Trump wants more than dating Ivanka Trump, being best buddies with Kim Jong-un, golden showering with Vladimir Putin, and making women and minorities second class citizens—that’s defeating Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester. Okay, maybe he wants to date Ivanka and shower with Vladimir a […]
This is me with Montana’s Democratic candidate for Congress, Kathleen Williams. For those of you who don’t know, Montana only gets one congress person, so winning the congressional race here is a big deal. You may remember two weeks ago, Donald Trump made international news when he praised Republican congressman Greg Gianforte for criminally body […]
Donald Trump’s vendetta to defeat Senator Jon Tester continues today. This will be Trump’s fourth Montana visit (in addition to him sending Mike Pence here three times and Donald Trump Jr. more times than can be counted). Because of his desperation for revenge and to show he can influence Montanans, Trump gets more and more […]
Here’s what really concerns Tiny Trump’s psychopathic brain the most about the MAGA Bomber and the Tree of Life Synagogue Mass Shooter. Thursday night he said, “Now, we did have two maniacs stop a momentum that was incredible, because for seven days nobody talked about the elections. It stopped a tremendous momentum.” Upon hearing Tiny […]
While the FBI tries to figure out who mailed the pipe bombs to Democrats, I will solve the case for them, using Occam’s razor (when presented with competing hypotheses to solve a problem, one should select the solution with the fewest assumptions). Let’s examine the obvious clues: 1) The recipients were on Donald […]
On the heels of pipe bombs sent to prominent liberals, Donald Trump feigned outrage and called for national unity. Then, after realizing he let down his cult, he tweeted, “A very big part of the Anger we see today in our society is caused by the purposely false and inaccurate reporting of the Mainstream Media […]
An article in today’s Missoulian features the president of the Lewis & Clark Republican Women’s club all giddy because the Matt Kavanaugh hearing invigorated her cult. Yes, the club’s membership of creepy white women has actually grown. How sad that Christine Blasey Ford—terrified but brave, forced out of her house because of death threats, and […]
Upon hearing Melania Trump claim, “I’m the most bullied person on the world,” Martyman decided to get out the world’s smallest violin to play the world’s saddest song on her behalf. Either that or he just finished reading Stormy Daniels’ book and is trying to visualize Donald Trump’s Mushroom Mario Kart. I’m not sure which.
“On behalf of our nation, I would like to apologize to Brett and his family for the terrible pain and suffering that you have been forced to endure.” —Donald Treason Trump (at Brett Blackout Kavanaugh ceremonial swearing-in) “On behalf of our 65,844,954 sane American voters, I would like to apologize to the rest of the […]
As a public service, I have adjusted Donald Trump’s most famous campaign quote for accuracy. Now it makes much more sense: “When my administration sends its people, we’re not sending our best. We’re not sending you. We’re not sending you. We’re sending people that have lots of problems, and we’re bringing those problems with us. […]
If you’re like me, you start each morning with a quick check of the news to see if you’ve been having a long bad dream and that Donald Trump is still just a game show host. Unfortunately it’s not a dream. But if you’d like to get an early start on the weekend, here’s a […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2638: So far Donald Trump hasn’t figured out how to put a tariff on Canada geese, but he recently tweeted: “No Canada goose will be allowed in Amerika without dumantasion. They’re spying for Canada. They’re eating our fish. They’re Amerikan eagle RAPISTS. And some, I assume, are good burds. Secratay […]
With Michael Cohen’s guilty plea and Paul Manafort’s guilty verdicts today, let’s reminisce about three of Donald Trump’s most memorable campaign promises: “I have the best people.” “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” “Look at those hands. Are […]
“God came to me in a dream last night and showed me the future. He took me to heaven, and I saw Donald Trump seated at the right hand of our Lord.”—Pat Robertson “What a coincidence! Satan came to me in a dream last night and showed me the future. He took me to hottest […]
Anyone who thinks there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans is simply not paying attention. It was that kind of thinking that got both Donald Trump and George W. Bush elected—the two worst presidents in American history. If it wasn’t for Ralph Nader siphoning off votes, Bush would have lost to Al Gore. If […]
