If you’re like me, you start each morning with a quick check of the news to see if you’ve been having a long bad dream and that Donald Trump is still just a game show host. Unfortunately it’s not a dream. But if you’d like to get an early start on the weekend, here’s a recap of what I found during my check this morning:

Trump supporters are still deplorable.

Mike Pence is still setting the standard for Christian hypocrisy.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is still jealous that Mike Pence gets the Christian hypocrisy title. She’ll try harder to win the title from him today.

Rudy Giuliani still has reality issues due to his bout of syphilis . . . or rabies, I’m not sure which.

Ivanka Trump still hasn’t accomplished her goal for the year of memorizing the lyrics to “Valley Girl.”

Melania Trump is still miffed that Robert Mugabe was late on answering her ad in the “Wives for Despots” mail order catalog.

Donald Trump Jr. is still proud to have his picture in Webster’s Dictionary, under “arrogant,” “jerk,” “conspirator,” “pompous,” “slimy,” “scumbag,” “evil,” “treason,” and others too numerous to mention.

Donald Trump has still not been fitted for a straightjacket—but it won’t be long now.