Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts tagged Donald Trump

Trump’s most famous campaign quote adjusted for accuracy

Trump’s most famous campaign quote adjusted for accuracy

As a public service, I have adjusted Donald Trump’s most famous campaign quote for accuracy. Now it makes much more sense: “When my administration sends its people, we’re not sending our best. We’re not sending you. We’re not sending you. We’re sending people that have lots of problems, and we’re bringing those problems with us. […]

Your weekend Trump update

Your weekend Trump update

If you’re like me, you start each morning with a quick check of the news to see if you’ve been having a long bad dream and that Donald Trump is still just a game show host. Unfortunately it’s not a dream. But if you’d like to get an early start on the weekend, here’s a […]

Donald Trump to require Canada goose documentation

Donald Trump to require Canada goose documentation

Marty’s photo of the day #2638: So far Donald Trump hasn’t figured out how to put a tariff on Canada geese, but he recently tweeted: “No Canada goose will be allowed in Amerika without dumantasion. They’re spying for Canada. They’re eating our fish. They’re Amerikan eagle RAPISTS. And some, I assume, are good burds. Secratay […]

“I have the best people.”

“I have the best people.”

With Michael Cohen’s guilty plea and Paul Manafort’s guilty verdicts today, let’s reminisce about three of Donald Trump’s most memorable campaign promises: “I have the best people.” “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” “Look at those hands. Are […]

Pat Robertson had a dream. So did I.

Pat Robertson had a dream. So did I.

“God came to me in a dream last night and showed me the future. He took me to heaven, and I saw Donald Trump seated at the right hand of our Lord.”—Pat Robertson “What a coincidence! Satan came to me in a dream last night and showed me the future. He took me to hottest […]

Democrats and Republicans are not the same!

Democrats and Republicans are not the same!

Anyone who thinks there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans is simply not paying attention. It was that kind of thinking that got both Donald Trump and George W. Bush elected—the two worst presidents in American history. If it wasn’t for Ralph Nader siphoning off votes, Bush would have lost to Al Gore. If […]

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Hi! Republican Jesus here. I just want to tell all you liberals out there to stop the Capital Gazette shooting blame game. Just because Saint Donny has proclaimed mainstream media the “enemy of the American People” and rails about them on Twitter and at his MAGA ego-enhancement rallies, it does not mean that he is […]

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

Despite quite literally putting a warning on both the Amazon and Goodreads pages for my science-fiction political-comedy, Time Is Irreverent, conservatives keep buying it and are then surprised when they hate it. I should have thought of this marketing tactic years ago: Tell someone not to buy your book and they go, “Oh, yeah? You […]

Bizarre encounters with cops

Bizarre encounters with cops

I understand that there are dedicated, ethical cops out there. Nevertheless, I’ve had some bizarre encounters with cops over the years: When I ran the Bitterroot Baseball League and managed one of the teams, a cop who was on my team called me drunk one night and tried to intimidate me because I didn’t give […]

Who is the evil genius?

Who is the evil genius?

Every arch-criminal organization has an evil genius, but finding one in the Trump Administration is difficult: Donald Trump: Evil, but too incompetent to out-perform a lab rat in a simple test. Mike Pence: Evil yes, but how smart do you have to be when after each dastardly deed you simply say, “Jesus personally told me […]

If Trump, Pruitt, and Zinke were actual humans . . .

If Trump, Pruitt, and Zinke were actual humans . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2510: I photographed this caribou in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I feel sorry for people like Donald Trump, Scott Pruitt, and Ryan “I’m a Navy Seal” Zinke, who have no appreciation for nature. While an actual human being might look at this photo and appreciate the majestic caribou or […]

Scary times ahead?

Scary times ahead?

Marty’s photo of the day #2505: It’s unsettling to know that some of the things I wrote about in Time Is Irreverent, depicting America in 2056 as a theocracy, are starting to come true. Yesterday, Donald Trump signed a memorandum to deploy the National Guard along the Mexican border. In my book, the guards are […]

Evangelical flimflam men

Evangelical flimflam men

Marty’s photo of the day #2480: “So let me get this straight. . . . Evangelical Christian leaders screamed about immorality and impeachment when Bill Clinton had an affair, yet when Donald Trump has multiple affairs with porn stars and brags about sexually assaulting others they give him a mulligan? Hypocrisy isn’t a strong enough […]

Puerto Rico Fisherman

Puerto Rico Fisherman

Marty’s photo of the day #2468: I took this photo along the coast of Puerto Rico. I love the feel of this shot: a fisherman getting in a few last casts before the storm moves in. Oh, and standing off to the side, just out of the picture, is Donald Trump. Should the storm suddenly […]

Writing fiction is more scary than writing nonfiction

Writing fiction is more scary than writing nonfiction

Now that I have written two nonfiction nature-travel books and one science-fiction political-comedy, I have to say that writing fiction is more fun than nonfiction, but also more frightening. With “Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents” and “Endangered Edens,” I was pretty much limited to telling stories of adventures that I had already […]

The Golden Age of Right-Wing Cultism

The Golden Age of Right-Wing Cultism

There’s no point in holding back: Republicans are gullible and stupid! In this morning’s Missoulian, Montana Republican State Senator Albert Olszewski accused the Democrats of holding our military ransom for almost a decade. How much money do we need to give our military? We already spend more on defense than the next nine most powerful […]

Why I’m not watching tonight’s State of the Union Address

Why I’m not watching tonight’s State of the Union Address

I don’t think I’ve missed a State of the Union address in twenty years. But quite frankly, my time is more valuable than another Donald Trump performance. I know what’s going to happen anyway—and you probably do too: 1) Trump will pretend to be sane for the hour or so he speaks. 2) The media […]

Trump-based vs. Reality-based

Trump-based vs. Reality-based

Marty’s photo of the day #2425: Today I offer two descriptions of this photo. One for reality-based humans, and one for Donald Trump and his supporters:   Reality: I took this photo in Zimbabwe.   Trump: I took this photo in a shithole country.   Reality: After a friendly woman braided Deb’s hair for a […]

Donald Trump will never see something like this

Donald Trump will never see something like this

Marty’s photo of the day #2424: Remember when kids didn’t need violent video games, 4-wheelers, the latest electronic gadget, helicopter parents, or the constant drone of a television to keep them entertained? Remember when a water puddle and a ball were all that were necessary to put wide smiles on children’s faces? Donald Trump certainly […]

Only two days left to win . . .

Only two days left to win . . .

With just two days left to the end of my Kindle Scout campaign—and a chance for you to win of free copy of  Time Is Irreverent—I’m featuring some of the new liberal Ten Commandments Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon present to the people of Galilee in AD 31 when they crash the Sermon on the Mount. […]

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