Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet" and "Endangered Edens."

Posts tagged Donald Trump

Christian Values Voters

Christian Values Voters

Within a 13 month period, Christian Values Voters will have voted overwhelmingly to elect Donald “The Pussy Grabber” Trump to the presidency, Greg “The Body Slammer” Gianforte to the House of Representatives, and Roy “The Child Molester” Moore to the Senate. I never doubted that those voters had values, but isn’t it nice that they’ve […]

National jewel soon to be poisoned

National jewel soon to be poisoned

Marty’s photo of the day #2369: This is the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge—the most pristine and remote region in the United States. In the coming weeks, greedy Republicans will likely open up parts of this refuge to oil drilling. “Praise, Jesus!” they will say, as they rape the land for oil company profits and political […]

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

This year, my two favorite terms are “microphallic compensation tools,” for assault rifles, and “fetish patriotism,” for the hyper-patriotism that both the military and the far-right generate to keep the cash flowing for new military toys. With today being Veterans Day, fetish patriotism will be at an all-time high. It’s quite possible to be a […]

Pure Evil!

Pure Evil!

My wife and I, along with 20,000 Montanans, have our insurance through the wonderful Montana Health Co-op. As a result of Donald Trump’s vindictive and sadistic executive order to undermine Obamacare, it appears as if the co-op will have to pull out of the exchange. If 20,000 people in Montana are losing their health insurance, […]

Charge them with murder

Charge them with murder

If you aim a gun at a person’s head and shoot, you will be charged with murder—even if it takes a while for the victim to die. By ripping apart every environmental regulation they can get their hands on, Donald Trump and Scott Pruitt are aiming a gun at the world and shooting. Deaths won’t […]

The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest

The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest

Protests are for people who are not in power and are victims of injustice. The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest, as they are the ones in power. The bigoted Trump-Pence stunt, to “protest” black football players protesting police violence, cost the American people hundreds of thousands of […]

Martyman is in Puerto Rico, helping with hurricane releif efforts

Martyman is in Puerto Rico, helping with hurricane releif efforts

Martyman is now on the ground in Puerto Rico, helping with the hurricane relief efforts. He had stowed away in the carton containing the paper towels Donald Trump tossed into the crowd. When I asked Martyman how he was able to know which roll to hide in, so he’d actually be thrown by our egomaniacal […]

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot, and that you are not a bigot for voting for him. I also know that anything I write won’t change your mind. Nevertheless, I have to try.   Here’s what Donald Trump tweeted at 5:19 a.m. this morning: “Such poor leadership ability […]

Let me respond of behalf of Puerto Ricans who . . .

Let me respond of behalf of Puerto Ricans who . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2322: This morning, at 5:19 a.m., President Evil tweeted, “Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort.” So […]

Embarrassed by President Trump

Embarrassed by President Trump

When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.

Christian and Muslim terrorists

Christian and Muslim terrorists

On the heels of Republican George W. Bush attacking Iraq based on a lie, the next Republican president, Donald Trump, has threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea. Add to that the Republicans’ denial of global warming, pulling us out of the Paris Agreement, and their determination to take away health care from millions, I am […]

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.” Middle Eastern terrorists will continue to attack us and our allies, as long as we have a military presence in the Middle East. If you doubt that statement, look up how many times ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or other such groups have attacked Costa Rica […]

Republicans: What will it take?

Republicans: What will it take?

Gun deaths, police violence, and global warming are epidemics, solvable with commitment, ingenuity, and cooperation. Unfortunately, as long as Republicans stand in the way, solutions to those problems will remain out of America’s grasp. With that in mind, I’d like to ask Republicans, “What will it take?” From 2000 to 2015, the equivalent to one-half […]

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Now that Donald Trump has picked Jim Bridenstine (a global warming denier with no science experience) to head NASA, he must be consistent and pick Thomas Röhler (the Olympic gold medalist javelin thrower) to be the White House proctologist.

Presidenting lessons

Presidenting lessons

Obviously the presidenting lessons Obama gave Little Trumpy didn’t take. So now it’s time for an intervention. All of the living presidents need to show up at the White House, have a sit down with the little guy, and tell him that big boy presidents don’t threaten with nukes.

I’m totally screwed!

I’m totally screwed!

I’m skeptical of any religion that proclaims humans are made in God’s image. Surely, if there is a god, she wouldn’t have copied her unnecessary appendix, disease-prone internal organs, or that Tommy John thingy that inevitably tears after a pitcher signs a multi-million dollar contract. And imagine how disappointing heaven would be if God’s closest […]

What if God is a rodent?

What if God is a rodent?

We humans arrogantly assume that if there is a god, we must be made in his image. While I’m skeptical of all religions, I do hope that if there is a god, she isn’t a rodent. If she is, I’m totally screwed. Even though I have spent most of my life as an environmental and […]

The Republican Jesus needs . . . your money

The Republican Jesus needs . . . your money

Marty’s photo of the day #2280: Once again the Republican Jesus has taken over my photo of the day: “Hey suckers . . . I mean God-fearing patriotic gun-loving conservatives! Our great white leader, Donald Trump, needs your help. Because some libtards couldn’t handle the fact that many Nazis and white supremacists are ‘very fine […]

What Obama and Trump won’t say

What Obama and Trump won’t say

Barack Obama wouldn’t say “Radical Islamic Terrorist,” for fear of offending 1.6 billion innocent people. Donald Trump won’t say “White Supremacist Terrorist,” for fear of offending a huge chunk of his voter base. See? Democrats and Republicans aren’t all that different from each other.  

Yes, let’s do remember who elected Trump

Yes, let’s do remember who elected Trump

“I would recommend you take a good look in the mirror & remember it was White Americans who put you in the presidency, not radical leftists.” —David Duke, responding to Donald Trump’s call for unity Hmmm . . . While I don’t think standing up for civil rights, health care for all, and protecting the […]

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