Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts tagged Donald Trump

Trump entices fans to kill for him

Trump entices fans to kill for him

Donald Trump will forever be the worst president in the United States, because he is the only president who openly tries to entice his fans to kill for him. In my opinion, he already succeeded once, by giving the man who would become the Capital Gazette shooter that extra push, that extra permission, to kill […]

While Republicans chant “AOC sucks!” AOC does the decent thing

While Republicans chant “AOC sucks!” AOC does the decent thing

At Thursday’s Donald Trump rally in Michigan, the classy, thoughtful, intelligent, Jesus loving audience expressed appreciation that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was fighting to give them better health care, better education, and a better environment. Who am I kidding? They actually expressed love for their cult leader, and when encouraged by Greasy Son of Cult Leader, broke […]

GOP and Toady Barr: have you no decency?

GOP and Toady Barr:  have you no decency?

This week’s Mueller Investigation events, as interpreted by Marty Essen: 1) Robert Mueller presents his report to Trump’s toady, William Barr. 2) Attorney General Toady takes the extensive Mueller report, ignores what might hurt Crybaby Trump, creates a four-page summary that the Crybaby and his cult can campaign on, and presents it to the House […]

Trump is too stupid to collude

Trump is too stupid to collude

So Robert Mueller, a registered Republican, and Donald Trump’s own Republican attorney general, William Barr, apparently couldn’t find a reason to charge Donald Trump with colluding with Russia during the 2016 election. Now Republicans, including the crybaby himself, are demanding an apology. What if the president under investigation had been Obama and the people who […]

The Republican love affair with DDT

The Republican love affair with DDT

Marty’s photo of the day #2838: I have a relative who is everything Donald Trump. Arguing with her is fruitless, but you would think some right-wing conspiracy theories would be so obviously wrong that even right-wingers could see it. One of the conspiracy theories she argues for is that Rachel Carson’s book “Silent Spring” was […]

Martyman investgates inside Trump’s head.

Martyman investgates inside  Trump’s head.

As a service to the American people, Martyman has volunteered to get inside Donald Trump’s head to have a look around. Let’s listen to his report: “Hmm. . . . It’s quite empty in here. No ethics, no empathy, no intelligence. And it smells like Russian prostitute pee. Wait, the dim light coming in through […]

How the GOP protects the Trump crime family

How the GOP protects the Trump crime family

After watching Michael Cohen’s testimony I now realize why Trump has surrounded himself with so many criminals. Or is that “the best people”? According to Republican Congressman Jim Jordan, no testimony against Trump is believable if it comes from a person, like Cohen, who has committed a crime. So from the Republican point of view, […]

Trump is up to his neck in what?

Trump is up to his neck in what?

When Deb and I moved to Montana in 1996, we experienced record snowfall our first winter. We live at the foot of a mountain and have a long gravel driveway. Figuring “all Montana winters must be like this,” I went out and bought a snowblower. Fast forward to this winter, and in 23 years, I […]

Prudish ad police at Amazon and Facebook

Prudish ad police at Amazon and Facebook

I’m always learning something. What I’ve learned in recent days is just how prudish both Amazon and Facebook are. They’re prudish, of course, because the conservative side of America is vocal about how nasty the human body is and how it needs to be covered up. Unless, of course, it’s Donald Trump walking in on […]

Really, Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Really, Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Marty’s photo of the day #2791: “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that’s why he’s there.”—Sarah Huckabee Sanders “And humans think we are a lesser species?”—Orangutan

It Trump really a fascist?

It Trump really a fascist?

Is Donald Trump actually a fascist? Although I often criticize the incompetent twit, I’ve tried to avoid exaggerating by blatantly calling him a fascist. Then I saw this: “The Democrats could solve the Shutdown problem in a very short period of time. All they have to do is approve REAL Border Security (including a Wall), […]

The slow mass murderer

The slow mass murderer

Hey Republicans! Did you see that your cult leader, Donald “The Slow Mass Murderer” Trump is trying to roll back yet another Obama-era environmental regulation? This time his administration is proposing to loosen the regulation on mercury, since it’s “too expensive to industry.” Yes, the man you voted for, because his stance against abortion allowed […]

At this moment, pretty much everything is better in Canada

At this moment, pretty much everything is better in Canada

Marty’s photo of the day #2758: We are in day two of what could be the biggest internet outage in U.S. history. So once again, I’m using my backup provider. What I’ve been able to glean from news stories is that the problem originates at CenturyLink. I don’t use CenturyLink for internet, but my primary […]

Italy Observations: Bathroom Edition

Italy Observations: Bathroom Edition

Marty’s photo of the day #2751: While in Italy, I spent quite a bit of time comparing and contrasting the country to the United States. Here are my observations for today—probably letting on a bit too much how my mind works: In Italy, the toilets in most public restrooms do not have seats. This guarantees […]

Mourning our country’s screwed up priorities

Mourning our country’s screwed up priorities

Today is a National Day of Mourning for President George H.W. Bush. The US Postal Service is closed, federal offices are closed, some banks are closed, and even some schools are closed. This may get me in trouble, but I just can’t mourn the death of someone who lived to be 94, had an estimated […]

Choosing the correct words

Choosing the correct words

As an author and a public speaker, I’m careful to use accurate words in professional situations. In casual situations, I’m much more prone to language misuse. Here are two recent casual examples: On the subject of humor: I mentioned, how for me, I’m most successful getting people to laugh when I use self-depreciating humor. (I […]

A break from tear gas photos

A break from tear gas photos

Marty’s photo of the day #2728: This photo is for those who have had their hearts ripped out, witnessing children of asylum-seekers, crying in pain, due to Donald Trump’s tear gas. Here are some children from south of the border, just being kids, and having a great time. (Photographed in Iquitos, Peru)

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]

Trump and the GOP got their asses kicked

Trump and the GOP got their asses kicked

When you hear Donald Trump and the Republican Cult claim the Blue Wave didn’t happen, keep these figures in mind: Total Republican votes for House: 48,370,608 Total Democratic votes for House: 53,305,729 Total Republican votes for Senate: 34,260,424 Total Democratic votes for Senate: 47,886,605 Total Republican votes for Governor: 41,331,517 Total Democratic votes for Governor: […]

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

Marty’s photo of the day #2708: There’s only one thing Tiny Trump wants more than dating Ivanka Trump, being best buddies with Kim Jong-un, golden showering with Vladimir Putin, and making women and minorities second class citizens—that’s defeating Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester. Okay, maybe he wants to date Ivanka and shower with Vladimir a […]

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