Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts in category General Rants

I hate SpeedConnect

I hate SpeedConnect

Marty’s photo of the day #2572: I’m on backup internet service this weekend. Because I live in the trees at the foot of a mountain, my internet options are limited. The only company (other than satellite and Verizon) that reaches me is SpeedConnect. Basically they shoot 40 miles down the Bitterroot Valley from Missoula and […]

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

Marty’s photo of the day #2565: I don’t know if there is a god. But I do know that if a god exists, and she has any decency at all, it will be the honest, generous, and ethical people who go to heaven and the hypocritical far-right Christians who will end up stuck on Earth. […]

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Much is being made in the news about President Crybaby Chickenshit uninviting the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles from their White House visit. What deserves just as much attention is that President Crybaby Chickenshit was too cowardly to even initiate a visit from the WNBA Champion Minnesota Lynx. Yes, President Crybaby Chickenshit was too scared […]

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

Despite quite literally putting a warning on both the Amazon and Goodreads pages for my science-fiction political-comedy, Time Is Irreverent, conservatives keep buying it and are then surprised when they hate it. I should have thought of this marketing tactic years ago: Tell someone not to buy your book and they go, “Oh, yeah? You […]

Bizarre encounters with cops

Bizarre encounters with cops

I understand that there are dedicated, ethical cops out there. Nevertheless, I’ve had some bizarre encounters with cops over the years: When I ran the Bitterroot Baseball League and managed one of the teams, a cop who was on my team called me drunk one night and tried to intimidate me because I didn’t give […]

Who is the evil genius?

Who is the evil genius?

Every arch-criminal organization has an evil genius, but finding one in the Trump Administration is difficult: Donald Trump: Evil, but too incompetent to out-perform a lab rat in a simple test. Mike Pence: Evil yes, but how smart do you have to be when after each dastardly deed you simply say, “Jesus personally told me […]

You can’t tell me that priest isn’t . . .

You can’t tell me that priest isn’t . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2528: You’re looking at a section of art on the side of a church in Spain. And you can’t tell me that some of the priests aren’t checking out the boy’s ass! Spanish churches are amazing, but they also demonstrate the political aspect of religion that puts money and power […]

The Tweeter

The Tweeter

Marty’s photo of the day #2528: When I was in Spain, I photographed lots of old churches. They were really quite interesting, and many of the ornamentations seemed quite unusual for religious buildings. Looking at this one now, it seems rather prophetic. I call it “The Tweeter.”   Did the Spaniards predict Crybaby Trump tweeting […]

Bigotry in the book promotion industry

Bigotry in the book promotion industry

I expect bigotry from conservative Christians and from the Republican Party, but I have to say that I’m surprised by the bigotry I’ve witnessed in the book promotion business. Books reach the top of the charts in three ways: the author is already a celebrity, everything goes right and the author gets a big publishing […]

If Trump, Pruitt, and Zinke were actual humans . . .

If Trump, Pruitt, and Zinke were actual humans . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2510: I photographed this caribou in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I feel sorry for people like Donald Trump, Scott Pruitt, and Ryan “I’m a Navy Seal” Zinke, who have no appreciation for nature. While an actual human being might look at this photo and appreciate the majestic caribou or […]

Scary times ahead?

Scary times ahead?

Marty’s photo of the day #2505: It’s unsettling to know that some of the things I wrote about in Time Is Irreverent, depicting America in 2056 as a theocracy, are starting to come true. Yesterday, Donald Trump signed a memorandum to deploy the National Guard along the Mexican border. In my book, the guards are […]

How I know Planet Earth is totally screwed

How I know Planet Earth is totally screwed

Here’s how I know Planet Earth is totally screwed: I live in the mountains, in the Bitterroot Valley. No matter what the temperature, I go on a half-hour bike ride each morning down the hill to my mailbox to get the newspaper. I do this both for exercise (the ride back up is strenuous) and […]

Propping up the micro-phallic compensator business

Propping up the micro-phallic compensator business

A news story in this morning’s paper reports that the Trump Administration has pledged financial support to states to start arming and training teachers. Aside from the plan being insane, I object to paying for the guns and training with my tax dollars. Republicans managed to write into law a provision that made sure that […]

Death penalty for drug dealers? Then be consistent and . . .

Death penalty for drug dealers? Then be consistent and . . .

Yesterday Führer Trump aroused his followers by endorsing the death penalty for drug dealers. He suggested that the penalty was appropriate because people die incidentally as a result of the drugs the dealers sell. Okay, but if we’re going to punish people with the death penalty for incidental deaths, we must be consistent and punish […]

Evangelical flimflam men

Evangelical flimflam men

Marty’s photo of the day #2480: “So let me get this straight. . . . Evangelical Christian leaders screamed about immorality and impeachment when Bill Clinton had an affair, yet when Donald Trump has multiple affairs with porn stars and brags about sexually assaulting others they give him a mulligan? Hypocrisy isn’t a strong enough […]

Wars are seldom fought for American interests

Wars are seldom fought for American interests

Marty’s photo of the day #2476: Quick! Name a war in the last 70 years that the United States fought that later you thought, “Wow! I’m sure glad we got involved in that one.” Can you? I didn’t think so. That’s because the biggest lie that politicians and the military tell us is that our […]

So many guns, so many questions

So many guns, so many questions

When Republicans say that mental illness is the problem, not guns, I’m never sure how to respond. Should I ask why mental illness is such a huge problem in the United States, but not Great Britain and Australia? Or should I agree, proclaim that the best indicator of mental illness is owning an assault rifle, […]

The Golden Age of Right-Wing Cultism

The Golden Age of Right-Wing Cultism

There’s no point in holding back: Republicans are gullible and stupid! In this morning’s Missoulian, Montana Republican State Senator Albert Olszewski accused the Democrats of holding our military ransom for almost a decade. How much money do we need to give our military? We already spend more on defense than the next nine most powerful […]

Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and Prayers: Thought: If the United States truly is the greatest country in the world, it must flip-off the NRA and the ammosexuals and follow Australia’s lead with respect to guns. Prayer: Hey, God. You’ve chosen to ignore the millions of prayers to stop senseless mass shootings, and you haven’t resurrected even a single […]

Republicans: What is wrong with you people?

Republicans: What is wrong with you people?

Hey Republicans! Answer me this: Why is it that when it comes to protecting our children from mass shooters (a real threat) that “thoughts and prayers” are all you are willing to give, yet when it comes to protecting our country from foreign invasion (an imagined threat) you think that spending more on our military […]

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