Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category General Rants

Politically correct gone wild

Politically correct gone wild

Marty’s photo of the day #2897: I frequently rant about conservatives, but today I’m going to rant about liberals. Specifically that small segment of vocal liberals who are so whiny and so PC that they make me want to puke. Here are some examples: Not too long ago, I booked my client, Emmy nominee Naomi […]

God prescribes abortions, and here’s proof!

God prescribes abortions, and here’s proof!

Since the abortion issue is going to be at the forefront of the news until the Republican Party goes the way of the mastodon, here’s a little reminder for conservative Christians who only read “God’s Greatest Hits” and ignore the unsavory parts of the Bible. Before stating your Christian beliefs as a reason for wanting […]

Arguing a woman’s right to choose.

Arguing a woman’s right to choose.

A few days ago, I wrote a commentary on the GOP, “God’s Own Party,” forcing their archaic abortion beliefs on women. I was shocked when multiple women posted comments, arguing that the United States should regress 46 years to the days of the coat hanger. I was even more shocked when one of them even […]

Evil in Alabama: GOP Christians to force raped women to carry fetuses to term

Evil in Alabama: GOP Christians to force raped women to carry fetuses to term

Alabama’s new total abortion ban will require women who get pregnant as a result of rape to carry that fetus to term. Any doctor helping that woman end her pregnancy can be sentenced to 99 years in jail. Now before you blame this solely on men, keep in mind that the Republican sponsor of the […]

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought: When I first learned that actress Alyssa Milano was calling for a sex strike to protest the strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures, I thought, “Hey, great idea!” Then I thought: Such a strike would only affect liberal men like me, who respect a woman’s right to make choices for […]

Dear World: Sorry, but we’re no longer . . .

Dear World: Sorry, but we’re no longer . . .

Dear World: When I was in grade school, my teachers taught me that we here in the United States were the “good guys,” and I believed them. Now, as a freethinking adult, I know that’s not the case—at least not now. In fact, under acting-president Trump and his cult of deplorables, we’ve quite literally become […]

Trump fans take note!

Trump fans take note!

When I published Time Is Irreverent, conservative Christian Republicans were furious with how I depicted them. Hell, I even suggested that the theocracy coming out of the reign of “President Handley” would advocate shooting brown people crossing the border from Mexico. Then, last night, while Donald Trump was whining at a rally about brown people […]

Is Christianity as a force for good dead in America?

Is Christianity as a force for good dead in America?

Initially my Time Is Irreverent series of novels, where most of the villains are Christians, was a controversial concept. How quickly things have changed. Even after Donald Trump has proven himself to be an unstable, greedy, self-serving, lying, treasonous, hateful, bigoted, criminal, cheating, evil, sack of dung beetle diarrhea, he still has solid Christian support. […]

Vote out the führer. Don’t impeach!

Vote out the führer. Don’t impeach!

Yesterday Führer Trump tweeted: “I wonder if the New York Times will apologize to me a second time, as they did after the 2016 Election. But this one will have to be a far bigger & better apology. On this one they will have to get down on their knees & beg for forgiveness-they are […]

Trump entices fans to kill for him

Trump entices fans to kill for him

Donald Trump will forever be the worst president in the United States, because he is the only president who openly tries to entice his fans to kill for him. In my opinion, he already succeeded once, by giving the man who would become the Capital Gazette shooter that extra push, that extra permission, to kill […]

People who actually read the book, love it!

People who actually read the book, love it!

Yesterday I posted a couple 1-star reviews to demonstrate the difficulties of writing liberal books when conservatives, who haven’t even read the story, try to bring them down—as if they were doing a favor for Trump. Today, I’d like to post some of the shorter 5-star reviews for my latest novel Time Is Irreverent 2: […]

Bearing false witness

Bearing false witness

Since I have placed multiple liberal-political-content warnings on the Amazon pages for Time Is Irreverent and Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! I have slowed down the negative reviews from right-wingers. Still some, who have obviously not read the novels, trash them anyway: This one was posted today for Time Is Irreverent: “Seriously. […]

Just how selfish are Republicans?

Just how selfish are Republicans?

Just how selfish are Republicans and their conservative Christian base? When liberal Democrats talk about the Green New Deal as a way to save our planet and make life better for our children and grandchildren, Republicans on Fox News, AM-hate radio, and the internet answer by spewing fear that the Green New Deal will prevent […]

While Republicans chant “AOC sucks!” AOC does the decent thing

While Republicans chant “AOC sucks!” AOC does the decent thing

At Thursday’s Donald Trump rally in Michigan, the classy, thoughtful, intelligent, Jesus loving audience expressed appreciation that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was fighting to give them better health care, better education, and a better environment. Who am I kidding? They actually expressed love for their cult leader, and when encouraged by Greasy Son of Cult Leader, broke […]

GOP and Toady Barr: have you no decency?

GOP and Toady Barr:  have you no decency?

This week’s Mueller Investigation events, as interpreted by Marty Essen: 1) Robert Mueller presents his report to Trump’s toady, William Barr. 2) Attorney General Toady takes the extensive Mueller report, ignores what might hurt Crybaby Trump, creates a four-page summary that the Crybaby and his cult can campaign on, and presents it to the House […]

Trump is in full asshole mode

Trump is in full asshole mode

So this week Crybaby Trump is in full asshole mode, attempting to take away health care for millions, trying to defund the Special Olympics, and declaring that Puerto Rico has received too much hurricane relief. This doesn’t surprise me. Trump is exactly the same uncaring, unethical, incompetent, criminal buffoon anyone with critical thinking ability knew […]

Trump is too stupid to collude

Trump is too stupid to collude

So Robert Mueller, a registered Republican, and Donald Trump’s own Republican attorney general, William Barr, apparently couldn’t find a reason to charge Donald Trump with colluding with Russia during the 2016 election. Now Republicans, including the crybaby himself, are demanding an apology. What if the president under investigation had been Obama and the people who […]

Elizabeth Warren’s breakup proposal is a mistake

Elizabeth Warren’s breakup proposal is a mistake

I’m not a one-issue voter, but I’m disappointed that Elizabeth Warren called for the breakup of Amazon, Google, and Facebook. It feels kind of desperate to me. These are not like the Bell telephone companies that once had literal monopolies. Instead, they are on-line corporations that had competition from the beginning and just grew wildly […]

How the GOP protects the Trump crime family

How the GOP protects the Trump crime family

After watching Michael Cohen’s testimony I now realize why Trump has surrounded himself with so many criminals. Or is that “the best people”? According to Republican Congressman Jim Jordan, no testimony against Trump is believable if it comes from a person, like Cohen, who has committed a crime. So from the Republican point of view, […]

Jesus would not approve!

Jesus would not approve!

News broke today that Republicans in South Carolina have introduced legislation that would make abortion in their state a felony for both women and their doctors. What would Jesus think of that? In my new novel, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! Jesus time travels with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon to the […]

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