Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category General Rants

Republican hypocrisy in a nutshell

Republican hypocrisy in a nutshell

For years Republicans have rejected the argument that our Founding Fathers could never have envisioned high-capacity, rapid-fire guns when they wrote the Second Amendment. Conversely, they are now arguing in front of the Supreme Court that people of differing sexual orientations and identities can be fired from their jobs—because the lawmakers who wrote the Civil […]

Trump’s strategy on impeachment

Trump’s strategy on impeachment

As near as I can tell, this is the Trump Administration’s strategy in a nutshell: 1) Block testimony and refuse to cooperate in any way with the House impeachment inquiry, forcing the Democrats to impeach based solely on obstruction. 2) When the Senate hearings start, Trump lawyers will then say, “The House Democrats were politically […]

To those who believe “God ordained Trump”

To those who believe “God ordained Trump”

If you are a Democrat in the U.S. House of Representatives, and you paraphrase Trump’s Ukraine “do me a favor” call, President Crybaby will whine, “Treason!” The same goes for the whistleblower, who President Crybaby threatened with death using mobster language. Oh, and if that’s not enough, the dirty-diapered little man just upped the ante […]

President KKKlueless and why this time it’s different

President KKKlueless and why this time it’s different

Like many of you, I get frustrated that Donald Trump has scandal after scandal and always seems to escape. His cult is very effective at either just not caring or not having the brains God gave an animal cracker. To see for yourself, visit Townhall(dot)com, where at this moment Trump is a saint and the […]

Hey GOP! Karma is a bitch!

Hey GOP! Karma is a bitch!

When the shocking news arrived on Election Night 2016 that Donald Trump won the Electoral College, my wife and I struggled to find something positive about the tragedy. In the end, we both agreed that what happened might be better for the Democrats and Planet Earth in the long-run. Had Hillary Clinton become president, the […]

President KKKlueless and the Climate Action Summit

President KKKlueless and the Climate Action Summit

So President KKKlueless showed up at the Climate Action Summit, not to talk about our climate crisis and the mass extinctions, human deaths, and wars that will result from it, but instead to walk into an adjacent conference room to give a speech about religious persecution. Yes, this from the Muslim Ban President! In actuality, […]

Would Jesus support Trump’s EPA?

Would Jesus support Trump’s EPA?

So Donald Trump instructs the EPA to kiss the asses of oil companies and other corporate polluters, but by God, if a city has too many homeless people he instructs the EPA to pounce! (Not to help the homeless people mind you, but to get rid of them . . . somehow.) To all you […]

Trump and his Cult of Chumps

Trump and his Cult of Chumps

Hey Trump fans! Can any of you honestly say that you would have been hunky dory if Obama were president and Congress had subpoenaed three of his people to testify, but two ignored the subpoena and the one that showed up stonewalled—all doing so on Obama’s instructions? I realize that asking you about honesty is […]

Hell, yes! Beto O’Rourke!

Hell, yes! Beto O’Rourke!

I haven’t decided who I will ultimately support in the Democratic primary, but this week two of the candidates who were in the middle of my list switched positions. When Beto O’Rourke said during the debates, “Hell, yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47, and we’re not going to allow it to be […]

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Marty’s photo of the day #3010: With the recent deaths of David Koch and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s getting harder and harder for those who believe in reincarnation to feel good about snacking on barbecued grubs sold by street vendors in Peru. I mean, how do you know who you might be eating? You gotta admit, […]

A penguin parable

A penguin parable

Marty’s photo of the day #3007: To the average person this is just a group of penguins. So let me—an expert in penguin politics—interpret this photo for you, which I smuggled in from a Russian research facility on Antarctica: There are both Adélie and gentoo penguins in this image. For years the gentoos have had […]

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

You know what’s going to be even more entertaining than when Donald Trump gets his ass kicked in the 2020 election? His pouting? His temper tantrums? Melania dumping him for a richer man? World leaders confessing what they really think of him? The Trump family perp walk? No! Well, okay—yes. All of the above is […]

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Republican Senator Mitch McConnell has been making the rounds on conservative media, snowflaking about how mean it is that liberals are calling him “Moscow Mitch.” I’ve carefully considered the senator’s sensitivity to the nickname, and in the spirit of treating him as fairly as he has treated others, I wish to say just one thing: […]

F*ck, f*cking guns!

F*ck, f*cking guns!

Three people were shot at the Minnesota State Fair last night. Having lived much of my life in Minnesota, I’ve been to that fair many times. Never once did I think, “Oh, I wonder if there will be a shooting while I’m there?” But now, such a thought enters the minds of millions of Americans […]

Women: You have the power to kick men’s asses in politics. Please do so!

Women: You have the power to kick men’s asses in politics. Please do so!

There are many groups you can blame for the tragedy of the 2016 election. You can blame white men, Bernie-or-Busters, evangelical Christians, etc. Actually, the election was so close that if a majority of even one group of people saw the light, Trump would be back in New York making passes at Ivanka and bankrupting […]

Slow murders

Slow murders

Even though Joe Biden isn’t my first choice for the Democratic nominee, I have a real problem with candidates going after him for things he said 30 to 40 years ago. Times were different back then, and people can—and should!—change. Let’s be honest: if you are over the age of 50 (no matter what your […]

The GOP can’t cry if the Chinese out-hack the Russians

The GOP can’t cry if the Chinese out-hack the Russians

As Republicans resist securing voting machines and requiring paper ballot backups, I can’t help thinking: Wouldn’t it be ironic if instead of the Russians hacking for the Republicans the Chinese foil the Russians and win the hacking war on behalf of the Democrats? Should that happen, we must not let the Republicans get away with […]

About that Greenland purchase . . .

About that Greenland purchase . . .

The untold story behind Donald Trump and his temper tantrum about not being able to buy Greenland is the insatiable greed behind it. Republicans have found a way to twist global warming into a good thing. They love it that the melting ice at the poles will open up more land for oil and mineral […]

My deal for Trump-Christians

My deal for Trump-Christians

Well it happened: Donald Trump has officially offered his thoughts and prayers for this weekend’s mass shooting victims. And as you know, prominent Christians, such as Pat Robertson and Sarah Huckabee Sanders, have publicly stated that Trump was “God’s choice” for president—and millions of conservative Christians have agreed. If Trump was indeed sent by God, […]

After each mass shooting in America . . .

After each mass shooting in America . . .

After each mass shooting in America, Republicans offer thoughts and prayers. After each Republican prayer session, God answers, “I gave you Australia as an example of how to stop mass shootings. Follow them and they will go away.” Republicans respond, “I can’t quite hear you God. But I think you said we need more high-capacity […]

Recent Posts

Categories