Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet" and "Endangered Edens."

Posts in category General Rants

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

Microphallic compensation tools & fetish patriotism

This year, my two favorite terms are “microphallic compensation tools,” for assault rifles, and “fetish patriotism,” for the hyper-patriotism that both the military and the far-right generate to keep the cash flowing for new military toys. With today being Veterans Day, fetish patriotism will be at an all-time high. It’s quite possible to be a […]

Yay, America! We’re #1!

Yay, America! We’re #1!

During the past month I have been working from 4:30 in the morning until 9:00 at night every day, putting the final touches on my new book Time Is Irreverent. Consequently, I’ve had very little time to pay attention to the news. I now have a bit of a break, as I just sent my […]

Making the legacy of Idi Amin Dada look better every day!

Making the legacy of Idi Amin Dada look better every day!

Alabama Republican Senate nominee Roy Moore says that the Supreme Court ruling allowing gay marriage is worse than the court’s 1857 decision that upheld slavery, because it forces “people to recognize marriage other than the institution ordained of God.” Actually, an infinitely worse ruling would be any that forces the rest of us to recognize […]

The Republican Party in a nutshell

The Republican Party in a nutshell

The Republican Party is a cult that preys on gullible people and gets them to vote against themselves. That’s why America doesn’t have universal health care, and why so many Republicans still believe that global warming is a hoax. Republican leaders built their cult by pretending to be good Christians and getting the far-right Christian […]

Pure Evil!

Pure Evil!

My wife and I, along with 20,000 Montanans, have our insurance through the wonderful Montana Health Co-op. As a result of Donald Trump’s vindictive and sadistic executive order to undermine Obamacare, it appears as if the co-op will have to pull out of the exchange. If 20,000 people in Montana are losing their health insurance, […]

The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest

The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest

Protests are for people who are not in power and are victims of injustice. The president and vice president of the United States are not entitled to protest, as they are the ones in power. The bigoted Trump-Pence stunt, to “protest” black football players protesting police violence, cost the American people hundreds of thousands of […]

American gun death resurrections

American gun death resurrections

Soon Republicans and the NRA will agree to make it a bit harder to acquire bump stocks. Then they’ll puff out their chests, tell us all how much they care, and go on offering prayers for the victims of the next slaughter—and the next. If prayers were effective against America’s gun death epidemic, victims would […]

Weapons straight from hell

Weapons straight from hell

If Great Britain had the guns and ammo the Las Vegas shooter possessed, they would have won the American Revolutionary War. In fact, the Las Vegas shooter alone would have most likely been victorious in any battle against American troops. Can anyone honestly say that the framers of the Constitution wouldn’t have been totally freaked […]

A message for the Republican Jesus

A message for the Republican Jesus

Marty’s photo of the day #2328: A message from the Republican Jesus: “Hi there! I just want to remind all of my sheep that no one, even me, can have enough firepower. Whether you own 47 guns or just 10—bring them to schools, concerts, churches, and movie theaters. You never know when you’ll get to […]

Satan and the NRA

Satan and the NRA

In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Senator Claire McCaskill has called on the NRA to do some “soul searching.” While I appreciate Senator McCaskill’s comments, if we wait for the NRA to find its soul, nothing will ever get done. The NRA, CEO Wayne LaPierre, and its membership all sold their souls years […]

Hey “Christian” Republican voters!

Hey “Christian” Republican voters!

Hey “Christian” Republican voters! You refuse to vote for Democrats, due to your religious belief that they are baby killers, for not forcing pregnant women to give birth. Yet you are perfectly fine voting for Republicans, who are killing our planet with their anti-environment votes; who are obsessed with taking away health care; who look […]

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

When I told Martyman that it was too soon after Las Vegas to make a political statement about how easy it is to buy high-capacity, rapid-fire guns in America, he said to me, “That’s what right-wingers always say! Yet after mass shootings, what do those people do? They hurry out to buy more microphallic compensation […]

A calming flower for an infuriating day

A calming flower for an infuriating day

Marty’s photo of the day #2324: What kind of photo do you post on the morning of yet another mass shooting? I ultimately decided on this beautiful flower, but only because it’s calming. Tell us again, NRA and NRA-supporting voters and politicians, why is it more important for you to have easy access to rapid […]

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot, and that you are not a bigot for voting for him. I also know that anything I write won’t change your mind. Nevertheless, I have to try.   Here’s what Donald Trump tweeted at 5:19 a.m. this morning: “Such poor leadership ability […]

Let me respond of behalf of Puerto Ricans who . . .

Let me respond of behalf of Puerto Ricans who . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2322: This morning, at 5:19 a.m., President Evil tweeted, “Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort.” So […]

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues, based on what politicians and voters write in newspaper op-eds and letters to the editor:   1) Nothing is more important than preventing undeserving people from getting something they didn’t earn (except for us, of course).   2) Any protest not intended to support our eroding white rights or Donald Trump is either […]

Embarrassed by President Trump

Embarrassed by President Trump

When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.

Christian and Muslim terrorists

Christian and Muslim terrorists

On the heels of Republican George W. Bush attacking Iraq based on a lie, the next Republican president, Donald Trump, has threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea. Add to that the Republicans’ denial of global warming, pulling us out of the Paris Agreement, and their determination to take away health care from millions, I am […]

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.” Middle Eastern terrorists will continue to attack us and our allies, as long as we have a military presence in the Middle East. If you doubt that statement, look up how many times ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or other such groups have attacked Costa Rica […]

The NFL’s Republican-style false outrage

The NFL’s Republican-style false outrage

I enjoy football, but I wish the NFL wasn’t so Republican. If a football player beats up his wife or girlfriend, he might get suspended for up to four games. If a football player beats his son bloody with a switch while claiming faith in God, the suspension will be longer, but when he comes […]

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