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You know what’s going to be even more entertaining than when Donald Trump gets his ass kicked in the 2020 election? His pouting? His temper tantrums? Melania dumping him for a richer man? World leaders confessing what they really think of him? The Trump family perp walk? No! Well, okay—yes. All of the above is […]
Republican Senator Mitch McConnell has been making the rounds on conservative media, snowflaking about how mean it is that liberals are calling him “Moscow Mitch.” I’ve carefully considered the senator’s sensitivity to the nickname, and in the spirit of treating him as fairly as he has treated others, I wish to say just one thing: […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2999: A few years ago, I was hiking in the Everglades and came across this big guy, blocking my path. So I sat down, and the two of us had a wonderful conversation, solving all the world’s problems. It turns out that the gator’s name is Larry, and according to […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2979: “So Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Joseph Stalin walk into a bar, and the bartender says to Donald, ‘I asked you to bring in two people who could vouch for your integrity, and that’s the best you can do?’”
Marty’s photo of the day #2969: Today is part two of my three-part series, “Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch.” Did you know that there are 28 species of bee in Montana? Of course, since President KKKlueless sees bees as a “liberal insect,” he is doing his best to reduce their numbers in Montana and everywhere else. […]
This morning I was reading about the Apollo 11 moon landing and how Richard Nixon had wanted to have dinner with the astronauts before lift-off (an event canceled because of worries that the president could expose the astronauts to unwanted germs). That story led me to imagine what Donald KKKlueless would have done if he […]
If you follow the adventures of Martyman, you know he’s the most well-read action figure in America. It’s one of his superpowers. This morning he was up early, reading the news, and learned that Donald Trump had told congresswomen Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib to go back to where they came from. That got the […]
“See, I don’t think that the mainstream media is free speech either because it’s so crooked. It’s so dishonest. So to me, free speech is not when you see something good and then you purposely write bad. To me, that’s very dangerous speech, and you become angry at it. But that’s not free speech.”\—Führer Trump […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2937: Marty: “Look. It’s an Aussie fangs-o-death!” Deb: “Wow! She’s almost as big as my hand.” Marty: “Great idea! Put your hand behind her for size-comparison.” Deb: “Like this?” Marty: “No. Closer.” Deb: “Like this?” Marty: “Still not close enough.” Deb: (takes a deep breath) “How’s this?” Marty: (smirks) “Just […]
I began working at radio stations at the age of 13 and became a talent manager at the age of 21, so music has always been a big part of my life. Consequently, I rarely miss a music-oriented movie. In the past year I’ve seen the remake of A Star is Born, Bohemian Rhapsody, and […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2923: Happy Father’s Day! One thing about penguins is that you can’t easily tell their sex by looks or behavior. Is this really a daddy penguin feeding his chick? Or is it a mommy penguin feeding her chick? I could use this same photo to wish people a Happy Mother’s […]
After I wrote Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents and turned it into a college show, I realized that I was getting a bit heavy in my face. Since I’ve been a talent agent most of my life, and I was now agenting myself, I followed the advice I would give to any […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2915: Every country has its unique problems. In America, it’s a cult leader president with a narcissistic personality disorder, gun fetishes, and the fear of assertive women; and in Australia it’s wallabies insisting on a pool-water chaser after drinking their bottle of wine.
There are many similarities between Donald Trump and evil dictators. I noticed one this week, when reports surfaced that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un of North Korea had his special envoy to the United States, Kim Hyok Chol, executed because of last February’s failed summit with Trump. Coincidentally, White House staffers made sure the warship USS […]
When I woke up this morning Martyman and Mr. Trump Head were missing. I thought for sure that Martyman had taken Mr. Trump Head outside for some sick joke, like placing him under the tree where the wild turkeys roost each night. Then I heard this high pitched whine coming out of the bathroom. I […]
My train of thought: When I first learned that actress Alyssa Milano was calling for a sex strike to protest the strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures, I thought, “Hey, great idea!” Then I thought: Such a strike would only affect liberal men like me, who respect a woman’s right to make choices for […]
When I published Time Is Irreverent, conservative Christian Republicans were furious with how I depicted them. Hell, I even suggested that the theocracy coming out of the reign of “President Handley” would advocate shooting brown people crossing the border from Mexico. Then, last night, while Donald Trump was whining at a rally about brown people […]
