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Marty’s photo of the day #2871: I dedicate today’s photo to Wanda LaCroix. She lives in Grecia, Costa Rica, and on February 1st I mailed her a copy of my new novel, “Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again!” According to USPS tracking, the book traveled from Victor, Montana to Missoula to San Francisco […]
Today is National Beer Day, and Martyman and his little cowfriend, Brett Calve-in-naugh, intend to celebrate the day to its fullest. I’m not sure why Martyman enjoys hanging around with Brett Calve-in-naugh so much. All the cow does is moo and proclaim over-and-over in a whiny voice, “I drank beer with my friends. Almost everyone […]
Aah. . . . Martyman is being nice and cutting banana bread for himself and the Republican Jesus. Oh, wait! He knows the Republican Jesus won’t drop his guns, unless someone pries them from his cold, dead hands. With the Republican Jesus unable to hold any food, Martyman will get both pieces. Well played, Martyman! […]
This week’s Mueller Investigation events, as interpreted by Marty Essen: 1) Robert Mueller presents his report to Trump’s toady, William Barr. 2) Attorney General Toady takes the extensive Mueller report, ignores what might hurt Crybaby Trump, creates a four-page summary that the Crybaby and his cult can campaign on, and presents it to the House […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2831: I bet you’ve always wondered. Where do plungers come from? I solved that mystery when I found them growing in the rainforest of Costa Rica.
Bad Martyman! Bad Martyman! My wife, Deb, is out of town, teaching weaving classes in Oregon. Those who follow my posts know that when she is gone, Martyman and I must fend for ourselves—and that invariably means making some banana bread to stretch my otherwise uncreative cooking. Well, today I had two loaves ready to […]
As a service to the American people, Martyman has volunteered to get inside Donald Trump’s head to have a look around. Let’s listen to his report: “Hmm. . . . It’s quite empty in here. No ethics, no empathy, no intelligence. And it smells like Russian prostitute pee. Wait, the dim light coming in through […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2807: When I acquired Adam and Eve, back in 2001, I selected a male and a female, because rainbow boas were supposedly difficult to breed in captivity. Needless to say, Adam and Eve didn’t read the same snake books that I did, and put that rumor to shame. This is […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2806: Any guess what you are looking at? Is it a Malaysian feather snake? Is it an Arctic pipe cleaner fish? Is it the Great Salt Lake monster? ˙ʇɔɐɟ ɐ pɹɐǝɥ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uɐʍs ɹǝʇ-ʇı-dɯnɹʇ ɐ s,ʇı :ɹǝʍsuɐ
Marty’s photo of the day #2805: Al-dog-atraz is back! Lucy is 15 years old, and we got her at the Humane Association 13 years ago. The reason her original owners abandoned her became obvious the first time we left her alone. We came home to a house totally destroyed. Every interior screen was shredded, blood […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2801: This was the best sign I saw while visiting Italy. If you really, really, really have to pee—push here!
Marty’s photo of the day #2800: Years ago, on the first day of my first trip to the Amazon Rainforest, I learned the hard way to be careful where I stepped. I thought the mud along the Amazon River bank was hard enough to walk on. Instead, it was virtual quicksand—or more accurately, quick-mud. Nancy […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2799: When I was in Venice, Italy this past December, I saw this great chair in a shop window. I think Nancy Pelosi should sit in it for Trump’s next State of the Union Address!
News broke today that Republicans in South Carolina have introduced legislation that would make abortion in their state a felony for both women and their doctors. What would Jesus think of that? In my new novel, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! Jesus time travels with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon to the […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2791: “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that’s why he’s there.”—Sarah Huckabee Sanders “And humans think we are a lesser species?”—Orangutan
Marty’s photo of the day #2736: “Okay, Dad! I have carefully applied this great-smelling black stuff, and I’m ready to get back into the truck now.” (Photographed in Alberta, Canada)
As an author and a public speaker, I’m careful to use accurate words in professional situations. In casual situations, I’m much more prone to language misuse. Here are two recent casual examples: On the subject of humor: I mentioned, how for me, I’m most successful getting people to laugh when I use self-depreciating humor. (I […]
Yay! Last night—after thousands of hours of writing, entering editing, and proofing, proofing, proofing—I finished the sequel to my Amazon #1 Best Seller, Time Is Irreverent. The aptly named, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! is scheduled for publication in February 2019. In Jesus Christ, Not Again! the timeline change Marty Mann and […]
Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]
For the next week, Deb is on a huge cruise ship, heading for Mexico, and I’m home alone. My wife, being the big weaver-lebrity she is, is one of the featured speakers/teachers on a “Weaving at Sea Cruise.” She invited me to come along, but being on a ship with two thousand other people just […]
