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Bad Martyman! Bad Martyman! My wife, Deb, is out of town, teaching weaving classes in Oregon. Those who follow my posts know that when she is gone, Martyman and I must fend for ourselves—and that invariably means making some banana bread to stretch my otherwise uncreative cooking. Well, today I had two loaves ready to […]
As a service to the American people, Martyman has volunteered to get inside Donald Trump’s head to have a look around. Let’s listen to his report: “Hmm. . . . It’s quite empty in here. No ethics, no empathy, no intelligence. And it smells like Russian prostitute pee. Wait, the dim light coming in through […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2807: When I acquired Adam and Eve, back in 2001, I selected a male and a female, because rainbow boas were supposedly difficult to breed in captivity. Needless to say, Adam and Eve didn’t read the same snake books that I did, and put that rumor to shame. This is […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2806: Any guess what you are looking at? Is it a Malaysian feather snake? Is it an Arctic pipe cleaner fish? Is it the Great Salt Lake monster? ˙ʇɔɐɟ ɐ pɹɐǝɥ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uɐʍs ɹǝʇ-ʇı-dɯnɹʇ ɐ s,ʇı :ɹǝʍsuɐ
Marty’s photo of the day #2805: Al-dog-atraz is back! Lucy is 15 years old, and we got her at the Humane Association 13 years ago. The reason her original owners abandoned her became obvious the first time we left her alone. We came home to a house totally destroyed. Every interior screen was shredded, blood […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2801: This was the best sign I saw while visiting Italy. If you really, really, really have to pee—push here!
Marty’s photo of the day #2800: Years ago, on the first day of my first trip to the Amazon Rainforest, I learned the hard way to be careful where I stepped. I thought the mud along the Amazon River bank was hard enough to walk on. Instead, it was virtual quicksand—or more accurately, quick-mud. Nancy […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2799: When I was in Venice, Italy this past December, I saw this great chair in a shop window. I think Nancy Pelosi should sit in it for Trump’s next State of the Union Address!
News broke today that Republicans in South Carolina have introduced legislation that would make abortion in their state a felony for both women and their doctors. What would Jesus think of that? In my new novel, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! Jesus time travels with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon to the […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2791: “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that’s why he’s there.”—Sarah Huckabee Sanders “And humans think we are a lesser species?”—Orangutan
Marty’s photo of the day #2736: “Okay, Dad! I have carefully applied this great-smelling black stuff, and I’m ready to get back into the truck now.” (Photographed in Alberta, Canada)
As an author and a public speaker, I’m careful to use accurate words in professional situations. In casual situations, I’m much more prone to language misuse. Here are two recent casual examples: On the subject of humor: I mentioned, how for me, I’m most successful getting people to laugh when I use self-depreciating humor. (I […]
Yay! Last night—after thousands of hours of writing, entering editing, and proofing, proofing, proofing—I finished the sequel to my Amazon #1 Best Seller, Time Is Irreverent. The aptly named, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! is scheduled for publication in February 2019. In Jesus Christ, Not Again! the timeline change Marty Mann and […]
Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]
For the next week, Deb is on a huge cruise ship, heading for Mexico, and I’m home alone. My wife, being the big weaver-lebrity she is, is one of the featured speakers/teachers on a “Weaving at Sea Cruise.” She invited me to come along, but being on a ship with two thousand other people just […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2711: At my college shows, I talk about the value of all animals—not only because of their value to nature, but also because of their value to humans. This moose is a great example. Obviously moose are important to the ecosystems they live in, and, also, they provide great value […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2708: There’s only one thing Tiny Trump wants more than dating Ivanka Trump, being best buddies with Kim Jong-un, golden showering with Vladimir Putin, and making women and minorities second class citizens—that’s defeating Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester. Okay, maybe he wants to date Ivanka and shower with Vladimir a […]
Here’s what really concerns Tiny Trump’s psychopathic brain the most about the MAGA Bomber and the Tree of Life Synagogue Mass Shooter. Thursday night he said, “Now, we did have two maniacs stop a momentum that was incredible, because for seven days nobody talked about the elections. It stopped a tremendous momentum.” Upon hearing Tiny […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2703: “I’m tellin’ ya. A blue wave is coming through here in less than a week. Just be patient. In its wake, we’ll have all the rotten right-wing we can eat!” (Black vultures, photographed in Florida)
While the FBI tries to figure out who mailed the pipe bombs to Democrats, I will solve the case for them, using Occam’s razor (when presented with competing hypotheses to solve a problem, one should select the solution with the fewest assumptions). Let’s examine the obvious clues: 1) The recipients were on Donald […]
