Aah. . . . Martyman is being nice and cutting banana bread for himself and the Republican Jesus. Oh, wait! He knows the Republican Jesus won’t drop his guns, unless someone pries them from his cold, dead hands. With the Republican Jesus unable to hold any food, Martyman will get both pieces. Well played, Martyman! Well played.

***My wife, Deb, is teaching a weaving class in Atlanta this weekend, and as is tradition whenever she is away, Martyman and I make banana bread. And if you follow my posts, you know that cooking from scratch isn’t my thing—mostly because I just don’t have time to cook. Nevertheless, I do enjoy making banana bread.

Someone once commented on one of my banana bread posts that “recipes are meant to be followed.” For me, however, making banana bread is a scientific experiment. I’m always wondering what will happen if I change something. I’ve changed the quantity of bananas, the measurement of baking soda, the mixing order, the cooking time, and numerous other things. This time I added an extra egg and chopped peanuts. So far, no matter what I do, I have yet to fuck up a loaf of banana bread. Today’s loaf tastes wonderful! Even so, I’ve found that with the added peanuts it is much better eaten cold than hot.

Here’s the unfuckupable recipe, which Deb got from the cook in the cafeteria when she was still in college:

2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup shortening
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup mashed bananas
½ cup nuts (optional)

The recipe includes specifics about the order of adding ingredients and what should be beaten or whipped first, but I have found none of that matters. Add everything at once, set the mixer on high, and let it run until everything is creamy or Martyman gets bored with the controls. Also, forget about measuring bananas—two or three work equally well. Add nuts if you want. The loaf in the photo has ¾ cup unsalted peanuts, but if I had walnuts in the house, I would have used them instead. Bake at 350 on the middle rack for an hour—or until you remember “Holy shit! I forgot about the banana bread,” and make a mad dash to the kitchen.