Marty’s photo of the day #2565: I don’t know if there is a god. But I do know that if a god exists, and she has any decency at all, it will be the honest, generous, and ethical people who go to heaven and the hypocritical far-right Christians who will end up stuck on Earth. No god would value guns above children. No god would force women to give birth against their will. No god would think poisoning Planet Earth in the name of greed is hunky-dory. No god would think any race or sexual orientation is less than another. No god would be so insecure that all that mattered was a forever-recruiting fan club.

Although I don’t believe a non-human-caused apocalypse will ever happen, it’s amusing to imagine the possibility and the surprised look on the faces of the hypocritical far-right when they find out the joke was on them. Should it happen in the near-future, the hungry zealots on that dystopian Earth will eventually break into the freezer in my garage. There they’ll find this box, marked “Frozen Meat,” and get all excited, thinking I left behind some juicy steaks. Then, when they open the box, they’ll find nothing but rats and mice. Yes, the frozen meat is from Rodent Pro, and the contents are a year’s supply of food for my rainbow boas. Bon Appétit!