Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought: When I first learned that actress Alyssa Milano was calling for a sex strike to protest the strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures, I thought, “Hey, great idea!”

Then I thought: Such a strike would only affect liberal men like me, who respect a woman’s right to make choices for her own body. In the vast majority of Republican households, the women living with Republican men are submissive to their husbands and would never join the strike. When my wife, Deb, campaigned for the Montana legislature, she’d run into such passive women, and they’d say to her, “Oh, I just vote how my husband tells me to vote.”

Then I thought: A far better strike would be a sex workers strike. Now that would hit home! While there are no figures on how many Republicans pay for sex, there is little doubt that Republican men in state legislatures pay for it at an accelerated rate. Hell, their cult leader admittedly has a thing for fucking porn stars!

Then I thought: A sex workers strike would also include porn and noted yet another way that Republicans are the world’s biggest hypocrites. How often does Mike Pence sneak out of his bedroom at night, go into his office, turn on his computer, and masturbate while watching women who might be getting pregnant at that very moment and will certainly abort the fetus later? Then I thought:  Oh, god! That mental image of Mike Pence is going to scar me for life. I need to think of something more pleasant. . . .  Awww, puppies!

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