Marty’s photo of the day #3825: I photographed this pink river dolphin in a tributary of the Amazon River. Of all the deities, pink river dolphins are my favorite. They live in Encante, a city of gold under the Amazon River (I named my talent agency Encante Entertainment, Inc.), and their primary superpower is that they can take human form at night and come on shore to seduce the young women.

Hence, young women screaming at night, “Oh, God! Oh, God!”

Unlike other deities, pink river dolphins have the balls to show up and let people see them (although as this photo demonstrates, they are about as hard to focus on as Bigfoot). Even better, pink river dolphins don’t tell their followers to fly airplanes into buildings, attack the United States Capitol, justify slavery, hang witches, molest children, spread disease, hate people of differing sexual orientations, or hate people of different skin color. They also couldn’t care less about what women choose to do with their own bodies.

Quite frankly, I don’t understand why pink river dolphins aren’t everyone’s favorite deities. They rock! (Or at least sing.)