Marty’s photo of the day #2870: Today is Earth Day, and if you’re a Republican, I know this is a miserable day for you. Why would anyone want to talk about saving the planet for future generations, when nothing is more important than the money you are making right now? Fuck your children and grandchildren, right? Why should you care about their lives after you’re gone? Besides, Jesus will be coming soon to take you and your money directly to heaven—and if your children were proper Americans who voted for Trump, they too will join you to ride that great Hummer in the sky.
With that in mind, dear Republican, here’s a photo to cheer you up on this sad, socialistic day: a tiny section of the magnificent Prudhoe Bay oil field. This was once disgusting wilderness, with wildlife everywhere. But thanks to the oil companies and your Republican politicians, all traces of such debauchery have permanently been removed. Aah! Can’t you just smell the oil? Its gloriousness is everywhere—on the tundra, on the beach, in the air, in the water . . . paradise!