Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts tagged Republican

Trump teaches children that revenge is okay

Trump teaches children that revenge is okay

The Christian-right gets their panties in a twist if two same sex people kiss on television—because “children are watching!” Knowing that, isn’t it ironic that they don’t get upset when their “champion,” Donald Trump, assaults women, calls people derogatory names, goes on a deranged rant at the National Prayer Breakfast, profits off of the presidency, […]

No oral sex for Republicans

No oral sex for Republicans

On February 12, 1999, the vast majority of Republicans voted to convict Bill Clinton in his impeachment trial. His crime: lying about a blow job. On February 5, 2020, every Republican except one voted to acquit Donald Trump in his impeachment trial. His crime: selling out America and withholding aid to an ally for personal […]

The GOP suicide cult

The GOP suicide cult

Sometimes bad news can be good news. Soon Senate Republicans will reject impeachment witnesses and acquit Traitor Trump. When that happens, their white-supremacist and evangelical Christian cult will celebrate without realizing that the acquittal will backfire bigly. That’s because the rest of America will know that the GOP sold out their country to protect the […]

The only impeachment deal the Democrats should make

The only impeachment deal the Democrats should make

By standing by their cult leader, the Republicans have totally fucked themselves (and not in a good way). Over the past few weeks, pundits have speculated that the Democrats would try to make a deal with the Republicans, but the impeachment trial has changed that. If the Republicans don’t allow witnesses, their deceit will follow […]

Fence-sitters: pay attention!

Fence-sitters: pay attention!

Marty’s photo of the day #3141: I’ve been watching the impeachment hearings—not with anticipation that the Republicans will suddenly discover ethics, but with the hope that Americans who normally don’t participate in politics will finally realize that the GOP is blocking witnesses and documents because they care about one thing, and one thing only: power. […]

What if Mike Pence had an attack of ethics?

What if Mike Pence had an attack of ethics?

Now that Donald Trump has been impeached, reporters in the legitimate media pretty much agree that Republican senators will ignore their oath to “do impartial justice” and quickly acquit the Oval Office Sociopath of his crimes against America. But what if Republican politicians actually believed in the tenets of Christianity rather than just using it […]

Who would Jesus mock?

Who would Jesus mock?

On December 4, Melania Trump tweeted: “A minor child deserves privacy and should be kept out of politics. Pamela Karlan, you should be ashamed of your very angry and obviously biased public pandering, and using a child to do it.” This was in response to Karlan’s statement that criticized Donald Trump, not Melania’s fragile son […]

Trump’s impeachment: we all know how this will turn out

Trump’s impeachment: we all know how this will turn out

I feel like I should write something about the impeachment of Donald Trump, but we’ve all known how this is going to turn out for months: Impeachment will pass the House on party lines (give or take a few people) and go to the GOP-controlled Senate, where they will fail to convict on similar party […]

GOP chairman confuses Republican vales with Montana values

GOP chairman confuses Republican vales with Montana values

Don “K” Kaltschmidt, the chairman of the Montana Republican Party, has a blistering guest column in Montana newspapers this week. In that column, he accuses Gov. Steve Bullock and other Democratic state leaders of not reflecting the state’s “values” by supporting the impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump. While it’s laughable that any Republican would speak […]

Mitt Romney knows something

Mitt Romney knows something

Have you noticed how Mitt Romney has been stepping up his criticism of Donald “The Bedbug” Trump? While pundits speculate a variety of motives from being a patriot to just not liking Trump, I have a different theory: Romney knows something. In fact, he’s reasonably sure that neither the Bedbug nor Mike “The Soulless One” […]

Republican hypocrisy in a nutshell

Republican hypocrisy in a nutshell

For years Republicans have rejected the argument that our Founding Fathers could never have envisioned high-capacity, rapid-fire guns when they wrote the Second Amendment. Conversely, they are now arguing in front of the Supreme Court that people of differing sexual orientations and identities can be fired from their jobs—because the lawmakers who wrote the Civil […]

Trump’s strategy on impeachment

Trump’s strategy on impeachment

As near as I can tell, this is the Trump Administration’s strategy in a nutshell: 1) Block testimony and refuse to cooperate in any way with the House impeachment inquiry, forcing the Democrats to impeach based solely on obstruction. 2) When the Senate hearings start, Trump lawyers will then say, “The House Democrats were politically […]

Hey GOP! Karma is a bitch!

Hey GOP! Karma is a bitch!

When the shocking news arrived on Election Night 2016 that Donald Trump won the Electoral College, my wife and I struggled to find something positive about the tragedy. In the end, we both agreed that what happened might be better for the Democrats and Planet Earth in the long-run. Had Hillary Clinton become president, the […]

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Republican Senator Mitch McConnell has been making the rounds on conservative media, snowflaking about how mean it is that liberals are calling him “Moscow Mitch.” I’ve carefully considered the senator’s sensitivity to the nickname, and in the spirit of treating him as fairly as he has treated others, I wish to say just one thing: […]

About that Greenland purchase . . .

About that Greenland purchase . . .

The untold story behind Donald Trump and his temper tantrum about not being able to buy Greenland is the insatiable greed behind it. Republicans have found a way to twist global warming into a good thing. They love it that the melting ice at the poles will open up more land for oil and mineral […]

Stop treating the Second Amendment like the Bible!

Stop treating the Second Amendment like the Bible!

It’s time to stop treating the Second Amendment like the Bible, where leaders conveniently interpret it to match their political viewpoint. The United States has endured two major mass shootings in 24 hours, and neither shooter was a member of a “well-regulated militia.” Republicans, conservative Christians, and Donald Trump all claim to be pro-life, but […]

President KKKlueless and the conspiracy of the day

President KKKlueless  and the conspiracy of the day

“See, I don’t think that the mainstream media is free speech either because it’s so crooked. It’s so dishonest. So to me, free speech is not when you see something good and then you purposely write bad. To me, that’s very dangerous speech, and you become angry at it. But that’s not free speech.”\—Führer Trump […]

Think pleasant thoughts

Think pleasant thoughts

Marty’s photo of the day #2946: When you think of the Arctic, the first thing that pops into your mind is most likely “cold.” Well, that was until Republicans started their 40 years-and-counting War On The Environment. Now you might think of human-induced melting polar ice, oil spills, and starving polar bears (thanks Ronald Reagan!). […]

The intrepid wife

The intrepid wife

Marty’s photo of the day #2912: When my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, came out, and national reviewers read about Deb’s and my adventures racing a flash flood in Borneo, swimming with piranhas in the Amazon Rainforest, and surviving a hippo attack in Zimbabwe, they all settled on a common […]

Don’t Cry Mr. Trump Head

Don’t Cry Mr. Trump Head

When I woke up this morning Martyman and Mr. Trump Head were missing. I thought for sure that Martyman had taken Mr. Trump Head outside for some sick joke, like placing him under the tree where the wild turkeys roost each night. Then I heard this high pitched whine coming out of the bathroom. I […]

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