Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category Martyman

Martyman celebrates National Beer Day

Martyman celebrates National Beer Day

Today is National Beer Day, and Martyman and his little cowfriend, Brett Calve-in-naugh, intend to celebrate the day to its fullest. I’m not sure why Martyman enjoys hanging around with Brett Calve-in-naugh so much. All the cow does is moo and proclaim over-and-over in a whiny voice, “I drank beer with my friends. Almost everyone […]

Martyman and unfuckupable banana bread

Martyman and unfuckupable banana bread

Aah. . . . Martyman is being nice and cutting banana bread for himself and the Republican Jesus. Oh, wait! He knows the Republican Jesus won’t drop his guns, unless someone pries them from his cold, dead hands. With the Republican Jesus unable to hold any food, Martyman will get both pieces. Well played, Martyman! […]

Bad Martyman! Bad Martyman!

Bad Martyman! Bad Martyman!

Bad Martyman! Bad Martyman! My wife, Deb, is out of town, teaching weaving classes in Oregon. Those who follow my posts know that when she is gone, Martyman and I must fend for ourselves—and that invariably means making some banana bread to stretch my otherwise uncreative cooking. Well, today I had two loaves ready to […]

Martyman investgates inside Trump’s head.

Martyman investgates inside  Trump’s head.

As a service to the American people, Martyman has volunteered to get inside Donald Trump’s head to have a look around. Let’s listen to his report: “Hmm. . . . It’s quite empty in here. No ethics, no empathy, no intelligence. And it smells like Russian prostitute pee. Wait, the dim light coming in through […]

Trump is up to his neck in what?

Trump is up to his neck in what?

When Deb and I moved to Montana in 1996, we experienced record snowfall our first winter. We live at the foot of a mountain and have a long gravel driveway. Figuring “all Montana winters must be like this,” I went out and bought a snowblower. Fast forward to this winter, and in 23 years, I […]

It Trump really a fascist?

It Trump really a fascist?

Is Donald Trump actually a fascist? Although I often criticize the incompetent twit, I’ve tried to avoid exaggerating by blatantly calling him a fascist. Then I saw this: “The Democrats could solve the Shutdown problem in a very short period of time. All they have to do is approve REAL Border Security (including a Wall), […]

Eurasian Coot and Italy observations

Eurasian Coot and Italy observations

Marty’s photo of the day #2750: While in Italy, I spent quite a bit of time comparing and contrasting the country to the United States. Over all, the list in my mind was quite equal. For instance, I found the driving there similar to driving in highly populated areas of the United States. Italy is […]

Whimbrel and Willet

Whimbrel and Willet

Marty’s photo of the day #2727: Whimbrel and willet, photographed in Costa Rica.

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]

How to eat banana bread like a Martyman

How to eat banana bread like a Martyman

For the next week, Deb is on a huge cruise ship, heading for Mexico, and I’m home alone. My wife, being the big weaver-lebrity she is, is one of the featured speakers/teachers on a “Weaving at Sea Cruise.” She invited me to come along, but being on a ship with two thousand other people just […]

What really concerns Donald Trump

What really concerns Donald Trump

Here’s what really concerns Tiny Trump’s psychopathic brain the most about the MAGA Bomber and the Tree of Life Synagogue Mass Shooter. Thursday night he said, “Now, we did have two maniacs stop a momentum that was incredible, because for seven days nobody talked about the elections. It stopped a tremendous momentum.” Upon hearing Tiny […]

Martyman plays for Melania Trump

Martyman plays for Melania Trump

Upon hearing Melania Trump claim, “I’m the most bullied person on the world,” Martyman decided to get out the world’s smallest violin to play the world’s saddest song on her behalf. Either that or he just finished reading Stormy Daniels’ book and is trying to visualize Donald Trump’s Mushroom Mario Kart. I’m not sure which.

Stop the vote!

Stop the vote!

Marty’s photo of the day #2676: Yes, sometimes Martyman has too much to drink and passes out in the gutter. But he never attempts to rape anyone, never sticks his dick in anyone’s face (other than that unfortunate incident with a Tasmanian devil he refuses to discuss), never starts bar fights, never rages in paranoia […]

Hang in there East Coast!

Hang in there East Coast!

Hang in there East Coast! Martyman feels your pain.

Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

Last night, Martyman was just relaxing with a drink, reading his favorite book, when Jeff Sessions and the Republican Jesus burst through the door and put an end to the sinful debauchery. Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

“Psst . . . Hey, ammosexuals and fetish patriots . . . Republican Jesus here. Sorry to have to hide in your refrigerator like this, but I have a super-secret message for you that has to remain just between you and me. I know you have two major fantasies: “Your first fantasy is that you […]

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure, part 2

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure, part 2

Martyman declares victory! Things got a bit messy, but he successfully baked his first loaf of banana bread. It was touch and go there for a while—especially after he forgot to add the eggs. If you missed my initial post on this, Martyman had to pull the hot pan out of the oven, pour the […]

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure

I’m pretty much the Anti-cook. Luckily when my lovely wife, Deb, leaves Martyman and me home alone, she also leaves us with a big pot of soup. Or, as is the case this week (she’s at the Convergence Conference in Reno), she left us a giant bowl of crab salad. Unfortunately, five days of crab […]

Martyman’s commentary on the First Lady

Martyman’s commentary on the First Lady

Marty’s photo of the day #2577: Martyman gets today’s post.

The proof of Time Is Irreverent has arrived!

The proof of Time Is Irreverent has arrived!

The proof copy of Time Is Irreverent arrived today! I love the silky feel of the cover. The interior looks great too—at least it did for the few seconds I got to see it. Martyman quickly grabbed the book from me and declared that since he is the star, he gets to look at it […]

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