Marty’s photo of the day #2400: Martyman tries to make everyone think he’s an angel, but I just caught him red-handed messing with the reindeer again. “Bad Martyman! Put the reindeer back, now!” Sorry. I have no control over him. . . . Really. It’s like having a little kid in the house.
Posts in category Martyman
Martyman is now on the ground in Puerto Rico, helping with the hurricane relief efforts. He had stowed away in the carton containing the paper towels Donald Trump tossed into the crowd. When I asked Martyman how he was able to know which roll to hide in, so he’d actually be thrown by our egomaniacal […]
When I told Martyman that it was too soon after Las Vegas to make a political statement about how easy it is to buy high-capacity, rapid-fire guns in America, he said to me, “That’s what right-wingers always say! Yet after mass shootings, what do those people do? They hurry out to buy more microphallic compensation […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2323: Martyman is in his big chair, all excited to watch the Minnesota Vikings football game. And, of course, being a political action figure, he’s taken a knee, so he can protest police brutality toward blacks, during the National Anthem. I don’t have the heart to tell him that “taking […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2307: Martyman is all excited, because I gave him a $5,000.00 bill. “With all this money, I can impress the ladies,” he said. “Maybe I can even get a mail-order stripper-bride, just like Melania Trump! Did I say stripper? I mean ‘high-class model-bride.’” Poor Martyman is in for a letdown. […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2280: Once again the Republican Jesus has taken over my photo of the day: “Hey suckers . . . I mean God-fearing patriotic gun-loving conservatives! Our great white leader, Donald Trump, needs your help. Because some libtards couldn’t handle the fact that many Nazis and white supremacists are ‘very fine […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2259: Numerous people have been requesting the return of Martyman. I apologize for his long absence, but he has even less of a social filter than Orange Temper Tantrum Man. Consequently, he doesn’t understand that there is a fine line between criticizing our deranged supreme leader and saying something that […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2063: Watch out Martyman! Here’s what Montana’s Republican candidate for Congress, Greg Gianforte, said before going out to shoot massive numbers of prairie dogs with Donald Trump Jr.: “What can be more fun than to spend an afternoon shooting the little rodents?” When the Republican Jesus heard that, he thought, […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2147: If you remember where we left off yesterday, Martyman had a new body, and was getting his clothes washed. This morning, before I put Martyman’s clean clothes back on him, he insisted that I take this picture of him, impersonating Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh, from his favorite movie, Bull […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2146: If you remember where we left off yesterday, Martyman had taken a terrible fall and broken off both of his legs. Fortunately, years ago, I bought a backup body, should something ever happen to the original. As long as we were starting with a new Martyman body, I decided […]
Marty’s photo of the day #2124: Oh, my God! Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway was right! Martyman spent all day yesterday punching different combinations of numbers on our microwave. Finally he struck gold: an entire nest of cameras materialized inside! Sorry, Kellyanne. I never should have doubted you.