Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category Humor

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Marty’s photo of the day #3010: With the recent deaths of David Koch and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s getting harder and harder for those who believe in reincarnation to feel good about snacking on barbecued grubs sold by street vendors in Peru. I mean, how do you know who you might be eating? You gotta admit, […]

A penguin parable

A penguin parable

Marty’s photo of the day #3007: To the average person this is just a group of penguins. So let me—an expert in penguin politics—interpret this photo for you, which I smuggled in from a Russian research facility on Antarctica: There are both Adélie and gentoo penguins in this image. For years the gentoos have had […]

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

You know what’s going to be even more entertaining than when Donald Trump gets his ass kicked in the 2020 election? His pouting? His temper tantrums? Melania dumping him for a richer man? World leaders confessing what they really think of him? The Trump family perp walk? No! Well, okay—yes. All of the above is […]

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Republican Senator Mitch McConnell has been making the rounds on conservative media, snowflaking about how mean it is that liberals are calling him “Moscow Mitch.” I’ve carefully considered the senator’s sensitivity to the nickname, and in the spirit of treating him as fairly as he has treated others, I wish to say just one thing: […]

Advice from Larry the Gator

Advice from Larry the Gator

Marty’s photo of the day #2999: A few years ago, I was hiking in the Everglades and came across this big guy, blocking my path. So I sat down, and the two of us had a wonderful conversation, solving all the world’s problems. It turns out that the gator’s name is Larry, and according to […]

Long-eared owl comedian

Long-eared owl comedian

Marty’s photo of the day #2979: “So Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Joseph Stalin walk into a bar, and the bartender says to Donald, ‘I asked you to bring in two people who could vouch for your integrity, and that’s the best you can do?’”

Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch, Pt 2

Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch, Pt 2

Marty’s photo of the day #2969: Today is part two of my three-part series, “Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch.” Did you know that there are 28 species of bee in Montana? Of course, since President KKKlueless sees bees as a “liberal insect,” he is doing his best to reduce their numbers in Montana and everywhere else. […]

If Trump were president during the moon landing

If Trump were president during the moon landing

This morning I was reading about the Apollo 11 moon landing and how Richard Nixon had wanted to have dinner with the astronauts before lift-off (an event canceled because of worries that the president could expose the astronauts to unwanted germs). That story led me to imagine what Donald KKKlueless would have done if he […]

Go bacKKK to where you came from!

Go bacKKK to where you came from!

Martyman sends Donald Trump bacKKK to where he came from!

Martyman defends Congresswomen Omar and Tlaib

Martyman defends Congresswomen Omar and Tlaib

If you follow the adventures of Martyman, you know he’s the most well-read action figure in America. It’s one of his superpowers. This morning he was up early, reading the news, and learned that Donald Trump had told congresswomen Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib to go back to where they came from. That got the […]

President KKKlueless and the conspiracy of the day

President KKKlueless  and the conspiracy of the day

“See, I don’t think that the mainstream media is free speech either because it’s so crooked. It’s so dishonest. So to me, free speech is not when you see something good and then you purposely write bad. To me, that’s very dangerous speech, and you become angry at it. But that’s not free speech.”\—Führer Trump […]

The Aussie Fangs-O-Death

The Aussie Fangs-O-Death

Marty’s photo of the day #2937: Marty: “Look. It’s an Aussie fangs-o-death!” Deb: “Wow! She’s almost as big as my hand.” Marty: “Great idea! Put your hand behind her for size-comparison.” Deb: “Like this?” Marty: “No. Closer.” Deb: “Like this?” Marty: “Still not close enough.” Deb: (takes a deep breath) “How’s this?” Marty: (smirks) “Just […]

Music movies and the asshole manager

Music movies and the asshole manager

I began working at radio stations at the age of 13 and became a talent manager at the age of 21, so music has always been a big part of my life. Consequently, I rarely miss a music-oriented movie. In the past year I’ve seen the remake of A Star is Born, Bohemian Rhapsody, and […]

Penguins say Happy Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and LGBTQ Pride Month

Penguins say Happy Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and LGBTQ Pride Month

Marty’s photo of the day #2923: Happy Father’s Day! One thing about penguins is that you can’t easily tell their sex by looks or behavior. Is this really a daddy penguin feeding his chick? Or is it a mommy penguin feeding her chick? I could use this same photo to wish people a Happy Mother’s […]

Looking the part

Looking the part

After I wrote Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents and turned it into a college show, I realized that I was getting a bit heavy in my face. Since I’ve been a talent agent most of my life, and I was now agenting myself, I followed the advice I would give to any […]

Every country has its unique problems

Every country has its unique problems

Marty’s photo of the day #2915: Every country has its unique problems. In America, it’s a cult leader president with a narcissistic personality disorder, gun fetishes, and the fear of assertive women; and in Australia it’s wallabies insisting on a pool-water chaser after drinking their bottle of wine.

Not just Dr. Evil, evil

Not just Dr. Evil, evil

There are many similarities between Donald Trump and evil dictators. I noticed one this week, when reports surfaced that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un of North Korea had his special envoy to the United States, Kim Hyok Chol, executed because of last February’s failed summit with Trump. Coincidentally, White House staffers made sure the warship USS […]

Don’t Cry Mr. Trump Head

Don’t Cry Mr. Trump Head

When I woke up this morning Martyman and Mr. Trump Head were missing. I thought for sure that Martyman had taken Mr. Trump Head outside for some sick joke, like placing him under the tree where the wild turkeys roost each night. Then I heard this high pitched whine coming out of the bathroom. I […]

Charades with Martyman

Charades with Martyman

Apparently, Martyman thinks Trump can kiss his ass,

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought on the abortion ban sex strike

My train of thought: When I first learned that actress Alyssa Milano was calling for a sex strike to protest the strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures, I thought, “Hey, great idea!” Then I thought: Such a strike would only affect liberal men like me, who respect a woman’s right to make choices for […]

Recent Posts

Categories