Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author Marty Essen

Posts in category Humor

Yummy stuffed bones for your dog

Yummy stuffed bones for your dog

Nellie from Down Under

Nellie from Down Under

Marty’s photo of the day #3862: After Deb and I adopted Nellie from an animal shelter, we had her DNA tested. She is one-half golden retriever and one-half Australian cattle dog (which also makes her one-quarter dingo). Those bloodlines have given her the most unique personality of any dog we’ve ever owned. Being that half […]

Man-eating flower

Man-eating flower

Marty’s photo of the day #3835: One of the giant man-eating flowers* of the Amazon Rainforest. (Photographed in Peru) (*Fact provided by Q, so you know it’s true.)

Spanish Martini

Spanish Martini

Marty’s photo of the day #3828: In a glass add 2 1/2 ounces of gin or vodka, 1/2 ounce of dry vermouth, and ice. Travel to Spain, climb gate of olive farm located there, steal two olives and drop them into the glass. Run away when spotted (carrying the glass, of course) and hurry back […]

My favorite deity

My favorite deity

Marty’s photo of the day #3825: I photographed this pink river dolphin in a tributary of the Amazon River. Of all the deities, pink river dolphins are my favorite. They live in Encante, a city of gold under the Amazon River (I named my talent agency Encante Entertainment, Inc.), and their primary superpower is that […]

The Thanksgiving Yak

The Thanksgiving Yak

Marty’s photo of the day #3817: Today I present the Thanksgiving Yak. May this yak put a smile on your face at dinner today, when your right-wing aunt or uncle starts yakking about how Derek Chauvin is innocent, Kyle Rittenhouse is a hero, COVID-19 shots change your DNA, Joe Biden is a senile-Satanist-communist, and Donald […]

Happy Birthday Nellie!

Happy Birthday Nellie!

Marty’s photo of the day #3796: Happy Birthday to Nellie! She is two-years-old today. Well, since she was a stray, adopted from an animal shelter, I’m not sure of the exact date. But based on the age estimate from the animal shelter and the fifteen months she’s lived with us, I am likely within a […]

Barter Island Shipwreck

Barter Island Shipwreck

Marty’s photo of the day #3790: The final resting spot of the S. S. Minnow. (Photographed on Barter Island, Arctic Ocean)

Amazing Acrobat Coyotes

Amazing Acrobat Coyotes

Marty’s photo of the day #3788: This is one of the Amazing Acrobat Coyotes of Antelope Island, performing the difficult but crowd-pleasing “one paw stand with bison hide blindfold.” (Photographed on Antelope Island in Utah)

The glowing Mr. Trump Head

The glowing Mr. Trump Head

Marty’s photo of the day #3657: Mr. Trump Head, The Republican Jesus, Martyman and his dog, Professor Leakey, all live on the deep windowsill above our kitchen sink. The other day, my wife, Deb, called me into the kitchen, laughing. At this time of year, for just a few minutes, the rising sun hits Mr. […]

Senator George McGovern and me

Senator George McGovern and me

Marty’s photo of the day #3653: For the 4th of July, I thought I’d share an excerpt from my latest book, Hits, Heathens, and Hippos: Stories from an Agent, Activist, and Adventurer. In this excerpt, I talk about creating and publishing my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents. And yes, it […]

Spanish broom or . . .

Spanish broom or . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #3638: Two days ago: Marty (to Deb): “Did you see your patch of yellow flowers? They are in full bloom. It’s a little dark now, but tomorrow I’m going to have to photograph them. Deb: “They are Spanish broom, and I’ll remind you.” Yesterday: Deb (to Marty): “My Spanish broom […]

Note the rare sighting of . . .

Note the rare sighting of . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #3617: This is the Yukon River in the Yukon Territory of Canada. Note the rare sighting of a wild golden retriever, in its natural habitat.

Hawking the truth

Hawking the truth

Marty’s photo of the day #3612: This is a “cheat-shot” of a red-tailed hawk that had been rescued and was living at a wildlife facility I spoke at. Oh, wait! Why am I being truthful? We live in the era of alternative facts, where if you tell a lie multiple times with conviction people will […]

Verona rooftops

Verona rooftops

Marty’s photo of the day #3554: This is a rooftop view of Verona, Italy. On another subject: Remember the song “My Sharona” by the Knack? You can still sing the song perfectly if you replace “Sharona” with “Verona.” You’re welcome!

My COVID-19 vaccination: the reaction and the whining

My COVID-19 vaccination: the reaction and the whining

I had never had a reaction to a shot before, but after I got my Moderna COVID-19 vaccine on Tuesday, I felt like I had gone several rounds with a heavyweight boxer. My wife, Deb, on the other hand, didn’t have any reaction to the shot she got at the same time. From what we’ve […]

A ground squirrel vs the far-right

A ground squirrel vs the far-right

Marty’s photo of the day #3547: “Let me get this straight: You don’t believe DDT harms wildlife; you don’t believe humans cause global warming; you don’t believe masks help stop the spread of COVID-19, yet you do believe that your god will soon reinstall Donald Trump as president. Isn’t that kind of like a ground […]

Republican and turkeys

Republican and turkeys

Marty’s photo of the day #3542: How are turkeys like Republicans? Turkeys show off their feathers when they want to mate; Republicans show off their guns when they want to mate. Turkeys have trouble solving complex problems; Republicans have trouble solving simple math—like that 306 electoral votes is greater than 232 electoral votes. Turkeys will […]

Martyman and the QAnon conspiracy theory

Martyman and the QAnon conspiracy theory

Marty’s photo of the day #3536: According to a QAnon conspiracy theory, which is believed by countless Republicans and Evangelical Christians, tomorrow (March 4th) Donald Trump will rise to power again. To that, Martyman—an action figure with more brainpower than anyone who believes anything from QAnon—says, “I’ve got Trump right here. And he isn’t rising […]

My romantic comedy wedding

My romantic comedy wedding

Marty’s photo of the day #3529: The following excerpt from my newly published sixth book, Hits, Heathens, and Hippos: Stories from an Agent, Activist, and Adventurer, takes place in northern Minnesota: Our ceremony could have been right out of a romantic comedy. On the lakeshore, in front of the cabin, is a round washing-machine-sized rock […]

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