Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts in category Humor

There’s only so much I want in common with Douglas Adams

There’s only so much I want in common with Douglas Adams

When I finished writing “Time Is Irreverent,” and pitched the novel to various people in the industry, I often had to answer the question “What book is yours most like?” Because “Time Is Irreverent” is unique, my honest answer should have been “none.” But that’s not the way the game is played. So for lack […]

Puerto Rico electric vs paper towels

Puerto Rico electric vs paper towels

Marty’s photo of the day #2518: In honor of the Minnesota Twins vs. Cleveland Indians baseball games in Puerto Rico this week, I’m digging into my Puerto Rico photos. The series ended last night with each team winning a game. In yesterday’s post, I mentioned that the final game would be “electric,” with Twins’ Puerto […]

First ever photo of a tundra taipan!

First ever photo of a tundra taipan!

Marty’s photo of the day #2501: You are looking at the rarest snake in the world—the elusive tundra taipan! Scientists didn’t believe that snakes could survive north of the Arctic Circle until I documented it with this photograph, taken less than a mile from the Arctic Ocean. It is believed that the tundra taipan’s venom […]

Selling with the dead guys

Selling with the dead guys

For much of the past week, my new novel, Time Is Irreverent, has been occupying Amazon’s Humorous Science Fiction top-20, alongside books by Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut. Way to go, Marty! I can sell books with the best of the dead guys!

Mueller is coming!

Mueller is coming!

Marty’s photo of the day #2477: “Mueller is coming! Mueller is coming! And so is Stormy Daniels! . . . Okay, perhaps I should rephrase that.”

So many guns, so many questions

So many guns, so many questions

When Republicans say that mental illness is the problem, not guns, I’m never sure how to respond. Should I ask why mental illness is such a huge problem in the United States, but not Great Britain and Australia? Or should I agree, proclaim that the best indicator of mental illness is owning an assault rifle, […]

The day I held up the world

The day I held up the world

Marty’s photo of the day #2463: I can’t believe it’s been fifteen years since I held up the world! This excerpt from my book Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents explains the shot: I had a debt to pay for our successful Antarctica landing. Besides Shackleton and Neptune, another larger-than-life being had been […]

Outselling millions

Outselling millions

Whenever I publish a new book, I become obsessed with watching the Amazon charts (it’s a sickness, I know). Since Time Is Irreverent was published four days ago, it has shot up the rankings and become an Amazon “Hot New Release” in multiple categories. Still, the success of the book depends on how you look […]

The proof of Time Is Irreverent has arrived!

The proof of Time Is Irreverent has arrived!

The proof copy of Time Is Irreverent arrived today! I love the silky feel of the cover. The interior looks great too—at least it did for the few seconds I got to see it. Martyman quickly grabbed the book from me and declared that since he is the star, he gets to look at it […]

Ready . . . aim . . .

Ready . . . aim . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2447: “Okay! He’s almost beneath us. Not yet. Hold it. . . ! Hold it. . . ! Now!” (Galahs, photographed in Queensland, Australia)

Why I’m not watching tonight’s State of the Union Address

Why I’m not watching tonight’s State of the Union Address

I don’t think I’ve missed a State of the Union address in twenty years. But quite frankly, my time is more valuable than another Donald Trump performance. I know what’s going to happen anyway—and you probably do too: 1) Trump will pretend to be sane for the hour or so he speaks. 2) The media […]

A lynx for every state of mind

A lynx for every state of mind

Marty’s photo of the day #2441: Yesterday I mentioned that I have tons of long-eared owl photos from a day I spent with a researcher banding owls, and how each shot featured a different owl emotion—from happy to sad to excited. I also have tons of Canada lynx photos from an afternoon I spent in […]

Donald’s Switzerland date

Donald’s Switzerland date

Marty’s photo of the day #2435: Now that Melania Trump is giving Donald the cold shoulder over his porn star affair, Ryan Zinke is busy trying to find a date to accompany the toddler-in-chief on his upcoming Switzerland trip. So far, he’s only found one female mammal willing to get within ten feet of Donald […]

Too much for even an action figure

Too much for even an action figure

Marty’s photo of the day #2433: Martyman loves his Minnesota Vikings, but there is only so much an action figure can take.

Writing a sequel without shouting “squirrel!”

Writing a sequel without shouting “squirrel!”

Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents took me four years to write and was published in 2007. Endangered Edens took me one year to write and was published in 2016. Time Is Irreverent also took me one year to write and will be published on March 1st. I’m now working on the sequel […]

Where can I park?

Where can I park?

Marty’s photo of the day #2431: I get so frustrated when I show up to speak at colleges, because there is seldom a nearby place to park, and I have quite a bit of gear to bring inside. And here we go again . . . Hmm . . . Where can I possibly park?

The bird formerly known as . . .

The bird formerly known as . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2427: This is the bird formerly known as “The Blue Bird of Happiness.” Currently he is known as “The Blue Bird of Grumpiness.” He will return to his original name on the day “The Orange Shithole of Divisiveness” leaves office.

Elk stand-up comedian

Elk stand-up comedian

Marty’s photo of the day #2419: “So the guy says to me, ‘I’m a stable genius,’ but when I look him up in the Field Guide to Humans, it lists his species as ‘Trumpus insanous.’ Hell, he’s not even a stable genus!” —Elk stand-up comedian

Got any nuts?

Got any nuts?

Marty’s photo of the day #2418: “Got any nuts?”

Bad Martyman!

Bad Martyman!

Marty’s photo of the day #2400: Martyman tries to make everyone think he’s an angel, but I just caught him red-handed messing with the reindeer again. “Bad Martyman! Put the reindeer back, now!” Sorry. I have no control over him. . . . Really. It’s like having a little kid in the house.

Categories