Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category Humor

Martyman’s National Beer Day announcement

Martyman’s National Beer Day announcement

Martyman asked me to remind you that today is National Beer Day. . . . As if today is different from any other day for him.

It’s safer to kiss the python*

It’s safer to kiss the python*

Marty’s photo of the day #3214: This is me, several years ago, kissing an eleven-foot-long African rock python I caught in Zimbabwe. Last year, if people had to choose between kissing someone who recently returned from a large evangelical church service or kissing an eleven-foot-long python, the vast majority would choose to kiss the evangelical. […]

Martyman is going on a beer run.

Martyman is going on a beer run.

Marty’s photo of the day #3209: My wife and I are well prepared for sheltering in place during the COVID-19 pandemic. Sure, I lost my April college speaking tour and a book-signing and all the press and publicity that goes with those events. Sure, many of the stores that carry Deb’s weaving kits have temporarily […]

Dinosaur Egg

Dinosaur Egg

Marty’s photo of the day #3208: Dinosaur egg, photographed in Spain.

Deer social distancing, not

Deer social distancing, not

Marty’s photo of the day #3206: The deer that hang around my house still haven’t gotten the hang of this social-distancing thing.

Mitch! Is that you?

Mitch! Is that you?

Marty’s photo of the day #3199: I’m not sure what to title this shot: 1) A study in brown 2) Cane toads in Australia 3) Mitch McConnell and his family in the next life

Wrong number!

Wrong number!

Marty’s photo of the day #3198: Phew! I was worried there for a moment. I thought it was ARACHNID-19, but it was only ARACHNID-18. (Photographed in the Amazon rainforest of Peru)

Marty’s photo of the day #3196: If an alligator looks like this, and you aren’t peering through binoculars or a telephoto lens, you are using improper social distancing technique. Please remember to hold all conversations with alligators at a distance of at least fifteen feet. (Photographed in the Everglades)

Toilet paper marauders

Toilet paper marauders

Today I read a newspaper article about the long lines at gun stores from people stocking up on guns and ammo. I can imagine those men talking to their wives now: “Honey, I need to protect your toilet paper. If anyone comes within 50 feet of those precious rolls, I’ll blow their heads off!” Still, […]

Watch out!

Watch out!

Marty’s photo of the day #3193: When Deb and I were hiking in Mexico, we had to be extra careful to avoid the rock monsters.

How life would be different with a single change to history

How life would be different with a single change to history

I love writing the Time Is Irreverent series of novels, because the characters allow me to demonstrate how things would be different with a single change to history. For instance, in the first novel time-traveling protagonists Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon show how life today would be different if Christianity hadn’t taken hold, and in […]

It looks like something I’ve seen before. . . .

It looks like something I’ve seen before. . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #3189: This cactus I photographed in Puerto Rico looks like something I’ve seen before, but I just can’t place it. . . . . Oh, yeah! It looks like a maraca with a bent handle.

Golf is not a sport . . . except here!

Golf is not a sport . . . except here!

Marty’s photo of the day #3174: I’ve never considered golf a sport, because it doesn’t require running, skiing, skating, or catching or hitting a moving object. Instead it’s a game—especially if a slob like Donald Trump can play it and “defeat” someone. Golf is also horrible for the environment, since it requires massive amounts of […]

Giving Atlas a break

Giving Atlas a break

Marty’s photo of the day #3169: I can’t believe it was seventeen years ago today that Deb and I stepped onto Antarctica! It seems like just a few years ago. At the time, we were among the first 100,000 people in the history of the world to step onto the continent. Since then that number […]

L’Arena di Verona

L’Arena di Verona

Marty’s photo of the day #3101: A year ago this week, Deb and I were in Italy. In this photo we are standing in L’Arena di Verona, the fourth largest coliseum in Italy. It was built in the first century, and it’s actually older than the more famous coliseum in Rome. Imagine if such coliseums […]

Bear hide-and-seek

Bear hide-and-seek

Marty’s photo of the day #3087: “One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, . . .”

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Like many of you, I learned this week that liberals had declared war on Thanksgiving, and that Fox News and Trump cultists get very angry and explode in a high-blood-pressure rage at the very thought of renaming the holiday to call it “Celebrate Immigrants Day” and include brown people in what they believe is a […]

The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks

The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks

Marty’s photo of the day #3073: The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks. (Photographed in Yellowstone National Park)

Russians and the cottonmouth snake

Russians and the cottonmouth snake

Marty’s photo of the day #3069: The following story, “Russians and the Cottonmouth,” comes from my second book, Endangered Edens: Exploring the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Costa Rica, the Everglades, and Puerto Rico: After a great day of alligators, snakes, and birds, I reluctantly turned my car around and headed west on the Loop Road. […]

Trump and his pathetic search for an adoring crowd

Trump and his pathetic search for an adoring crowd

How insecure is Donald Trump? For the vast majority of his führership, he has hidden from everyday Americans and only made public appearances at his cult rallies, where he knows he can say anything and be worshipped. Then, during the World Series, Little Boy Trumpy got brave and showed up at a game, where he […]

Categories