Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts in category Humor

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

Marty’s photo of the day #2565: I don’t know if there is a god. But I do know that if a god exists, and she has any decency at all, it will be the honest, generous, and ethical people who go to heaven and the hypocritical far-right Christians who will end up stuck on Earth. […]

The money shot for my Republican friends

The money shot for my Republican friends

Marty’s photo of the day #2564: Yesterday, for my liberal friends, I posted a beautiful aerial shot I took of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Although almost all of my Republican friends have long since had enough of my snarky posts and moved on to safer territory, I still have a few Republican friends. Okay, […]

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Much is being made in the news about President Crybaby Chickenshit uninviting the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles from their White House visit. What deserves just as much attention is that President Crybaby Chickenshit was too cowardly to even initiate a visit from the WNBA Champion Minnesota Lynx. Yes, President Crybaby Chickenshit was too scared […]

Inside a Spanish castle

Inside a Spanish castle

Marty’s photo of the day #2558: I will let a short excerpt from my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, explain this shot from Spain: If medieval real estate agents existed, they would have listed the Castillo de Monfragüe as a “starter castle.” Built in the fifteenth century, it was much […]

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

Despite quite literally putting a warning on both the Amazon and Goodreads pages for my science-fiction political-comedy, Time Is Irreverent, conservatives keep buying it and are then surprised when they hate it. I should have thought of this marketing tactic years ago: Tell someone not to buy your book and they go, “Oh, yeah? You […]

After hundreds of shows, the most memorable are . . .

After hundreds of shows, the most memorable are  . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2546: I’m posting late today because, oh joy, I’ve been on airplanes since early this morning, flying from Philadelphia to Missoula. Yesterday’s show at Rowan College at Gloucester County was my last for this school year. Next year will be my twelfth of speaking at colleges. When you’ve performed hundreds […]

Greetings from beerless New Jersey

Greetings from beerless New Jersey

Greetings from New Jersey! Tomorrow, at 2:00 p.m., I have a show at Rowan College at Gloucester County. This will be my fourth time speaking at this college, which is an all-time record for me. I really enjoy these shows. The staff at Rowan are among the nicest people you could ever hope to meet […]

Dropping the nut bomb

Dropping the nut bomb

Marty’s photo of the day #2537: “That blond-haired guy with the camera is almost in the correct spot. Okay . . . just a few more feet . . . a little more . . .” (White-faced capuchin monkey, photographed in Costa Rica.)

Bizarre encounters with cops

Bizarre encounters with cops

I understand that there are dedicated, ethical cops out there. Nevertheless, I’ve had some bizarre encounters with cops over the years: When I ran the Bitterroot Baseball League and managed one of the teams, a cop who was on my team called me drunk one night and tried to intimidate me because I didn’t give […]

Who is the evil genius?

Who is the evil genius?

Every arch-criminal organization has an evil genius, but finding one in the Trump Administration is difficult: Donald Trump: Evil, but too incompetent to out-perform a lab rat in a simple test. Mike Pence: Evil yes, but how smart do you have to be when after each dastardly deed you simply say, “Jesus personally told me […]

They’re onto us!

They’re onto us!

Marty’s photo of the day #2522: The action has been slow lately on the motion-sensing camera in our front yard. I think the animals are on to us.

Foremost authority on comb-crested agamid lizards?

Foremost authority on comb-crested agamid lizards?

Marty’s photo of the day #2520: I photographed this female comb-crested agamid lizard on the island of Borneo. How do I know she’s a female? The males have a much larger comb crest. And that’s about all I know about these lizards. However, as I was typing this, I Googled the lizards’ name to make […]

Time Is Irreverent is #1 in Parodies

Time Is Irreverent is #1 in Parodies

I’ve been working incredibly hard to push Time Is Irreverent up Amazon’s charts. Today the book reached Best Seller status for the first time in the United States. It’s now the #1 Best-Selling Parody! The novel is also #2 in LGBT Science Fiction, #2 in Humorous Science Fiction, and #3 in Political Humor, so I […]

There’s only so much I want in common with Douglas Adams

There’s only so much I want in common with Douglas Adams

When I finished writing “Time Is Irreverent,” and pitched the novel to various people in the industry, I often had to answer the question “What book is yours most like?” Because “Time Is Irreverent” is unique, my honest answer should have been “none.” But that’s not the way the game is played. So for lack […]

Puerto Rico electric vs paper towels

Puerto Rico electric vs paper towels

Marty’s photo of the day #2518: In honor of the Minnesota Twins vs. Cleveland Indians baseball games in Puerto Rico this week, I’m digging into my Puerto Rico photos. The series ended last night with each team winning a game. In yesterday’s post, I mentioned that the final game would be “electric,” with Twins’ Puerto […]

First ever photo of a tundra taipan!

First ever photo of a tundra taipan!

Marty’s photo of the day #2501: You are looking at the rarest snake in the world—the elusive tundra taipan! Scientists didn’t believe that snakes could survive north of the Arctic Circle until I documented it with this photograph, taken less than a mile from the Arctic Ocean. It is believed that the tundra taipan’s venom […]

Selling with the dead guys

Selling with the dead guys

For much of the past week, my new novel, Time Is Irreverent, has been occupying Amazon’s Humorous Science Fiction top-20, alongside books by Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut. Way to go, Marty! I can sell books with the best of the dead guys!

Mueller is coming!

Mueller is coming!

Marty’s photo of the day #2477: “Mueller is coming! Mueller is coming! And so is Stormy Daniels! . . . Okay, perhaps I should rephrase that.”

So many guns, so many questions

So many guns, so many questions

When Republicans say that mental illness is the problem, not guns, I’m never sure how to respond. Should I ask why mental illness is such a huge problem in the United States, but not Great Britain and Australia? Or should I agree, proclaim that the best indicator of mental illness is owning an assault rifle, […]

The day I held up the world

The day I held up the world

Marty’s photo of the day #2463: I can’t believe it’s been fifteen years since I held up the world! This excerpt from my book Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents explains the shot: I had a debt to pay for our successful Antarctica landing. Besides Shackleton and Neptune, another larger-than-life being had been […]

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