Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category Humor

Giving Atlas a break

Giving Atlas a break

Marty’s photo of the day #3169: I can’t believe it was seventeen years ago today that Deb and I stepped onto Antarctica! It seems like just a few years ago. At the time, we were among the first 100,000 people in the history of the world to step onto the continent. Since then that number […]

L’Arena di Verona

L’Arena di Verona

Marty’s photo of the day #3101: A year ago this week, Deb and I were in Italy. In this photo we are standing in L’Arena di Verona, the fourth largest coliseum in Italy. It was built in the first century, and it’s actually older than the more famous coliseum in Rome. Imagine if such coliseums […]

Bear hide-and-seek

Bear hide-and-seek

Marty’s photo of the day #3087: “One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, . . .”

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Words for the cult and their angry Trumpsgiving

Like many of you, I learned this week that liberals had declared war on Thanksgiving, and that Fox News and Trump cultists get very angry and explode in a high-blood-pressure rage at the very thought of renaming the holiday to call it “Celebrate Immigrants Day” and include brown people in what they believe is a […]

The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks

The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks

Marty’s photo of the day #3073: The Bluebird of Trump Family Perp-Walks. (Photographed in Yellowstone National Park)

Russians and the cottonmouth snake

Russians and the cottonmouth snake

Marty’s photo of the day #3069: The following story, “Russians and the Cottonmouth,” comes from my second book, Endangered Edens: Exploring the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Costa Rica, the Everglades, and Puerto Rico: After a great day of alligators, snakes, and birds, I reluctantly turned my car around and headed west on the Loop Road. […]

Trump and his pathetic search for an adoring crowd

Trump and his pathetic search for an adoring crowd

How insecure is Donald Trump? For the vast majority of his führership, he has hidden from everyday Americans and only made public appearances at his cult rallies, where he knows he can say anything and be worshipped. Then, during the World Series, Little Boy Trumpy got brave and showed up at a game, where he […]

How President Bedbug can pay his $2 million fine

How President Bedbug can pay his $2 million fine

Today Senior Bedbug lost in court and was ordered to pay $2 million to settle the New York State Attorney General’s civil lawsuit against The Donald J. Bedbug Foundation for self-dealing to the Bedbug Crime Family. (Remember when the Bedbug claimed it was the Clinton Foundation, not the Bedbug Foundation that was corrupt?) Since Senior […]

Speaking tour food

Speaking tour food

When I’m at home, I watch my weight and exercise. When I’m on a college speaking tour, as I am in New York this week, I’m not quite as careful. Nevertheless, to avoid eating in restaurants the entire time, I headed over to a supermarket this evening and picked up some healthier foods to bring […]

The Republican Jesus has a new song!

The Republican Jesus has a new song!

It’s been awhile since the Republican Jesus has made an appearance on my posts, but he’s a busy guy, visiting various gun-loving Christian groups across America. His favorites include a Montana group that meets in a church and will provide you with a loaner gun if you show up without one, and “Calling for Christ,” […]

The real reason President KKKlueless canceled the G-7 summit at Doral

The real reason President KKKlueless canceled the G-7 summit at Doral

So President KKKlueless backed down on having next year’s G-7 summit at his Doral Golf Resort. Trump would like people to think he canceled the event because the “Hostile Media & their Democrat Partners went CRAZY!” and Democrats will think Trump backed down because he was afraid of adding yet another impeachable offense to his […]

Ketchup gets no respect

Ketchup gets no respect

Marty’s photo of the day #3036: I took this photo in a tiny town in western Spain. The below excerpt from my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, explains the significance of the shot—and how a simple request can offend an entire country and get you fired: We ambled back to […]

Husband and wife magpies

Husband and wife magpies

Marty’s photo of the day #3026: “Damn it, Robert! You left the toilet seat up again.” (Magpies, photographed in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana.)

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Hard times for reincarnation believers

Marty’s photo of the day #3010: With the recent deaths of David Koch and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s getting harder and harder for those who believe in reincarnation to feel good about snacking on barbecued grubs sold by street vendors in Peru. I mean, how do you know who you might be eating? You gotta admit, […]

A penguin parable

A penguin parable

Marty’s photo of the day #3007: To the average person this is just a group of penguins. So let me—an expert in penguin politics—interpret this photo for you, which I smuggled in from a Russian research facility on Antarctica: There are both Adélie and gentoo penguins in this image. For years the gentoos have had […]

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

More entertaining than the Trump family perp walk

You know what’s going to be even more entertaining than when Donald Trump gets his ass kicked in the 2020 election? His pouting? His temper tantrums? Melania dumping him for a richer man? World leaders confessing what they really think of him? The Trump family perp walk? No! Well, okay—yes. All of the above is […]

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Being sensitive to poor little Mitch McConnell

Republican Senator Mitch McConnell has been making the rounds on conservative media, snowflaking about how mean it is that liberals are calling him “Moscow Mitch.” I’ve carefully considered the senator’s sensitivity to the nickname, and in the spirit of treating him as fairly as he has treated others, I wish to say just one thing: […]

Advice from Larry the Gator

Advice from Larry the Gator

Marty’s photo of the day #2999: A few years ago, I was hiking in the Everglades and came across this big guy, blocking my path. So I sat down, and the two of us had a wonderful conversation, solving all the world’s problems. It turns out that the gator’s name is Larry, and according to […]

Long-eared owl comedian

Long-eared owl comedian

Marty’s photo of the day #2979: “So Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Joseph Stalin walk into a bar, and the bartender says to Donald, ‘I asked you to bring in two people who could vouch for your integrity, and that’s the best you can do?’”

Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch, Pt 2

Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch, Pt 2

Marty’s photo of the day #2969: Today is part two of my three-part series, “Inside Deb’s Lavender Patch.” Did you know that there are 28 species of bee in Montana? Of course, since President KKKlueless sees bees as a “liberal insect,” he is doing his best to reduce their numbers in Montana and everywhere else. […]

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