Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Posts in category Humor

Pon farr for snakes

Pon farr for snakes

Marty’s photo of the day #2807: When I acquired Adam and Eve, back in 2001, I selected a male and a female, because rainbow boas were supposedly difficult to breed in captivity. Needless to say, Adam and Eve didn’t read the same snake books that I did, and put that rumor to shame. This is […]

Malaysian feather snake?

Malaysian feather snake?

Marty’s photo of the day #2806: Any guess what you are looking at? Is it a Malaysian feather snake? Is it an Arctic pipe cleaner fish? Is it the Great Salt Lake monster? ˙ʇɔɐɟ ɐ pɹɐǝɥ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uɐʍs ɹǝʇ-ʇı-dɯnɹʇ ɐ s,ʇı :ɹǝʍsuɐ

Escape from Al-dog-atraz!

Escape from Al-dog-atraz!

Marty’s photo of the day #2805: Al-dog-atraz is back! Lucy is 15 years old, and we got her at the Humane Association 13 years ago. The reason her original owners abandoned her became obvious the first time we left her alone. We came home to a house totally destroyed. Every interior screen was shredded, blood […]

If you really, really, have to pee. . . .

If you really, really, have to pee. . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2801: This was the best sign I saw while visiting Italy. If you really, really, really have to pee—push here!

Caught in quick-mud!

Caught in quick-mud!

Marty’s photo of the day #2800: Years ago, on the first day of my first trip to the Amazon Rainforest, I learned the hard way to be careful where I stepped. I thought the mud along the Amazon River bank was hard enough to walk on. Instead, it was virtual quicksand—or more accurately, quick-mud. Nancy […]

Nancy’s new chair

Nancy’s new chair

Marty’s photo of the day #2799: When I was in Venice, Italy this past December, I saw this great chair in a shop window. I think Nancy Pelosi should sit in it for Trump’s next State of the Union Address!

Jesus would not approve!

Jesus would not approve!

News broke today that Republicans in South Carolina have introduced legislation that would make abortion in their state a felony for both women and their doctors. What would Jesus think of that? In my new novel, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! Jesus time travels with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon to the […]

Really, Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Really, Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Marty’s photo of the day #2791: “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that’s why he’s there.”—Sarah Huckabee Sanders “And humans think we are a lesser species?”—Orangutan

Fox Dog strikes again!

Fox Dog strikes again!

Marty’s photo of the day #2736: “Okay, Dad! I have carefully applied this great-smelling black stuff, and I’m ready to get back into the truck now.” (Photographed in Alberta, Canada)

Choosing the correct words

Choosing the correct words

As an author and a public speaker, I’m careful to use accurate words in professional situations. In casual situations, I’m much more prone to language misuse. Here are two recent casual examples: On the subject of humor: I mentioned, how for me, I’m most successful getting people to laugh when I use self-depreciating humor. (I […]

Sequel to Time Is Irreverent set for February!

Sequel to Time Is Irreverent set for February!

Yay! Last night—after thousands of hours of writing, entering editing, and proofing, proofing, proofing—I finished the sequel to my Amazon #1 Best Seller, Time Is Irreverent. The aptly named, Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again! is scheduled for publication in February 2019. In Jesus Christ, Not Again! the timeline change Marty Mann and […]

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

A Christmas message from the Republican Jesus

Hey conservatives! Republican Jesus here. With Christmas on the way, and the possibility that you might meet a heathen, a gay, a lesbian, or an environmentalist, I want to remind you to stick to your G.O.D.S. (Yes, plural, just like it is in Genesis until we changed our minds and settled on the one god […]

How to eat banana bread like a Martyman

How to eat banana bread like a Martyman

For the next week, Deb is on a huge cruise ship, heading for Mexico, and I’m home alone. My wife, being the big weaver-lebrity she is, is one of the featured speakers/teachers on a “Weaving at Sea Cruise.” She invited me to come along, but being on a ship with two thousand other people just […]

The value of animals . . .

The value of animals . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2711: At my college shows, I talk about the value of all animals—not only because of their value to nature, but also because of their value to humans. This moose is a great example. Obviously moose are important to the ecosystems they live in, and, also, they provide great value […]

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

What does Donald Trump want more than (almost) anything?

Marty’s photo of the day #2708: There’s only one thing Tiny Trump wants more than dating Ivanka Trump, being best buddies with Kim Jong-un, golden showering with Vladimir Putin, and making women and minorities second class citizens—that’s defeating Montana’s Democratic Senator Jon Tester. Okay, maybe he wants to date Ivanka and shower with Vladimir a […]

What really concerns Donald Trump

What really concerns Donald Trump

Here’s what really concerns Tiny Trump’s psychopathic brain the most about the MAGA Bomber and the Tree of Life Synagogue Mass Shooter. Thursday night he said, “Now, we did have two maniacs stop a momentum that was incredible, because for seven days nobody talked about the elections. It stopped a tremendous momentum.” Upon hearing Tiny […]

All you can eat!

All you can eat!

Marty’s photo of the day #2703: “I’m tellin’ ya. A blue wave is coming through here in less than a week. Just be patient. In its wake, we’ll have all the rotten right-wing we can eat!” (Black vultures, photographed in Florida)

Occam’s razor solves the pipe bomb case!

Occam’s razor solves the pipe bomb case!

While the FBI tries to figure out who mailed the pipe bombs to Democrats, I will solve the case for them, using Occam’s razor (when presented with competing hypotheses to solve a problem, one should select the solution with the fewest assumptions).   Let’s examine the obvious clues:   1) The recipients were on Donald […]

Damn me from the past!

Damn me from the past!

Marty’s photo of the day #2685: I try to avoid posting the same photo twice, but sometimes I forget. This morning I was going through my Borneo photos and came across this frog. I did a little sharpening and a little cropping but couldn’t remember the species name. I have several identification books, but since […]

Martyman plays for Melania Trump

Martyman plays for Melania Trump

Upon hearing Melania Trump claim, “I’m the most bullied person on the world,” Martyman decided to get out the world’s smallest violin to play the world’s saddest song on her behalf. Either that or he just finished reading Stormy Daniels’ book and is trying to visualize Donald Trump’s Mushroom Mario Kart. I’m not sure which.

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