Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet" and "Endangered Edens."

Posts in category Humor

Writing a sequel without shouting “squirrel!”

Writing a sequel without shouting “squirrel!”

Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents took me four years to write and was published in 2007. Endangered Edens took me one year to write and was published in 2016. Time Is Irreverent also took me one year to write and will be published on March 1st. I’m now working on the sequel […]

Where can I park?

Where can I park?

Marty’s photo of the day #2431: I get so frustrated when I show up to speak at colleges, because there is seldom a nearby place to park, and I have quite a bit of gear to bring inside. And here we go again . . . Hmm . . . Where can I possibly park?

The bird formerly known as . . .

The bird formerly known as . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2427: This is the bird formerly known as “The Blue Bird of Happiness.” Currently he is known as “The Blue Bird of Grumpiness.” He will return to his original name on the day “The Orange Shithole of Divisiveness” leaves office.

Elk stand-up comedian

Elk stand-up comedian

Marty’s photo of the day #2419: “So the guy says to me, ‘I’m a stable genius,’ but when I look him up in the Field Guide to Humans, it lists his species as ‘Trumpus insanous.’ Hell, he’s not even a stable genus!” —Elk stand-up comedian

Got any nuts?

Got any nuts?

Marty’s photo of the day #2418: “Got any nuts?”

Bad Martyman!

Bad Martyman!

Marty’s photo of the day #2400: Martyman tries to make everyone think he’s an angel, but I just caught him red-handed messing with the reindeer again. “Bad Martyman! Put the reindeer back, now!” Sorry. I have no control over him. . . . Really. It’s like having a little kid in the house.

The story of the naked walk

The story of the naked walk

Marty’s photo of the day #2397: This is a picture of our twelve-foot-tall Christmas tree and the story of the naked walk. Eight years ago, the furnace in our relatively new house suffered a series of breakdowns (likely due to repairman incompetence). Eventually we hired a different furnace company, which talked us into getting a […]

The children of the Amazon

The children of the Amazon

Marty’s photo of the day #2392: This is me (about 20 pounds heavier than I am now) handing out sugar free gum to children along the Amazon River. I chose this photo before the results of the Senate election in Alabama were announced, and I had written a great taunt to Roy Moore about how […]

Guest post from the Republican Jesus

Guest post from the Republican Jesus

Marty’s photo of the day #2391: Because of my frequent liberal posts, I have agreed to be fair to the other side and let the Republican Jesus have today’s post: “Hello Alabamans! Republican Jesus here. Thirteen months ago people just like you helped elect Donald Trump, a man who bragged about grabbing pussy without permission […]

High Jinx n the African Bush

High Jinx n the African Bush

Marty’s photo of the day #2387: High jinx in the African bush! This short excerpt from Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents explains the shot: Our best find of the morning was a Land Rover parked beside a rutty road. One of the other guides had driven his clients into the bush, left the […]

Grope and Vote for Roy Moore!

Grope and Vote for Roy Moore!

As Martyman fans know, our hero loves to dress up for the holidays. In fact, just a few minutes ago, Martyman walked into my office and asked if I would take his picture, so he could include it in the thousands of Christmas cards he was mailing out. I was just about to click the […]

Feeding the local leeches

Feeding the local leeches

Marty’s photo of the day #2385: This is one of those shots that is technically imperfect, but gets points for effort. I was on the island of Borneo and had spent the better part of an hour gaining the confidence of a troop of maroon langurs (also called leaf monkeys). When the langurs were on […]

Blurry photo captures tribble

Blurry photo captures tribble

Marty’s photo of the day #2351: I moved my motion-sensing camera to a spot I’ve never tried before. The land surrounding our house has tons of animal trails through it, but I never know for sure what animals use a particular trail until I view the photos. This new spot is going to be a […]

The melty glacier, with text for Republicans

The melty glacier, with text for Republicans

Marty’s photo of the day #2346: This is the Bear Glacier in British Columbia. The lake at the toe of the glacier is Strohn Lake, which didn’t exist until the 1940s. I took this picture in 2002, and I’m shocked by the recent pictures of the melting glacier visitors have posted on the Internet. It’s […]

A bison as Foghorn Leghorn

A bison as Foghorn Leghorn

Marty’s photo of the day #2342: Ever since I took this photo, I have imagined this bison with the voice of Foghorn Leghorn. Can’t you just hear it? “I say, boy, pay attention when I’m talkin’ to ya, boy!”

An orange slime worm beats an orange slime ball every time!

An orange slime worm beats an orange slime ball every time!

Marty’s photo of the day #2341: Yesterday, I posted a photo of a gorgeous orange caterpillar that I photographed on the island of Borneo. In response, Cheryl Bruso commented: “Oh man beautiful picture but every time I see orange I think of . . . well, you know. Do slugs and leaches come in the color orange […]

The Trump IQ Test Winner!

The Trump IQ Test Winner!

Marty’s photo of the day #2334: As you probably heard, Psycho Don challenged Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to an IQ test contest. What you probably haven’t heard is that a third contestant entered the contest and won. I’m proud to share with you an exclusive photo of that third contestant and winner! Congratulations Mr. […]

The Republican Jesus kills Garfield

The Republican Jesus kills Garfield

Marty’s photo of the day #2331: Okay, I have to admit that life was boring around my house this past weekend. My wife was in Portland, and I spent most of my time staring at my computer screen, waiting for my editor to email me the long-overdue edits for my new book, “Time Is Irreverent.” […]

Martyman and the chicken soup mutiny

Martyman and the chicken soup mutiny

On Wednesday, my wife made me a big pot of chicken and dumpling soup, before leaving to teach weaving classes in Portland. That means it’s just the dogs, Martyman, the Republican Jesus, and me in the house until Monday. I can cook, if I have to, but I have been busy working on various projects […]

A message for the Republican Jesus

A message for the Republican Jesus

Marty’s photo of the day #2328: A message from the Republican Jesus: “Hi there! I just want to remind all of my sheep that no one, even me, can have enough firepower. Whether you own 47 guns or just 10—bring them to schools, concerts, churches, and movie theaters. You never know when you’ll get to […]

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