Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and "Time Is Irreverent."

Posts in category Humor

Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

Last night, Martyman was just relaxing with a drink, reading his favorite book, when Jeff Sessions and the Republican Jesus burst through the door and put an end to the sinful debauchery. Nobody expects the Religious Liberty Task Force!

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

A secret message from the Republican Jesus

“Psst . . . Hey, ammosexuals and fetish patriots . . . Republican Jesus here. Sorry to have to hide in your refrigerator like this, but I have a super-secret message for you that has to remain just between you and me. I know you have two major fantasies: “Your first fantasy is that you […]

Fred the Eyelash Viper

Fred the Eyelash Viper

Marty’s photo of the day #2599: This is Fred the Eyelash Viper. He lived on a large leaf outside the cabin we rented in the Costa Rican rainforest. Each morning and each night, Deb and I would stop and say “hi.” Fred would have responded in kind, but lack of vocal cords prevented him from […]

The longest migration on Earth

The longest migration on Earth

Marty’s photo of the day #2594: This is a tiny segment of the Porcupine caribou migration. These caribou migrate between Canada and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska. Their 800 mile-long migration is the longest of any land animal on Earth. Now that the Republican cult and Rut Leader Trump have opened up the […]

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure, part 2

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure, part 2

Martyman declares victory! Things got a bit messy, but he successfully baked his first loaf of banana bread. It was touch and go there for a while—especially after he forgot to add the eggs. If you missed my initial post on this, Martyman had to pull the hot pan out of the oven, pour the […]

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure

Martyman and the great banana bread adventure

I’m pretty much the Anti-cook. Luckily when my lovely wife, Deb, leaves Martyman and me home alone, she also leaves us with a big pot of soup. Or, as is the case this week (she’s at the Convergence Conference in Reno), she left us a giant bowl of crab salad. Unfortunately, five days of crab […]

From North America’s beacon of freedom on Independence Day

From North America’s beacon of freedom on Independence Day

Marty’s photo of the day #2588: With today being Independence Day, Americans turn to thoughts of freedom: freedom of the press, freedom to not be shot, freedom from being embarrassed by the head of your country, freedom from misspelled presidential tweets, freedom to believe in science, freedom from Putin, freedom from the cone of silence, […]

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Republican Jesus and the blame game

Hi! Republican Jesus here. I just want to tell all you liberals out there to stop the Capital Gazette shooting blame game. Just because Saint Donny has proclaimed mainstream media the “enemy of the American People” and rails about them on Twitter and at his MAGA ego-enhancement rallies, it does not mean that he is […]

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

My post-apocalyptic gift to hypocritical far-right

Marty’s photo of the day #2565: I don’t know if there is a god. But I do know that if a god exists, and she has any decency at all, it will be the honest, generous, and ethical people who go to heaven and the hypocritical far-right Christians who will end up stuck on Earth. […]

The money shot for my Republican friends

The money shot for my Republican friends

Marty’s photo of the day #2564: Yesterday, for my liberal friends, I posted a beautiful aerial shot I took of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Although almost all of my Republican friends have long since had enough of my snarky posts and moved on to safer territory, I still have a few Republican friends. Okay, […]

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Scared of Eagles and Lynx? Have a military parade!

Much is being made in the news about President Crybaby Chickenshit uninviting the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles from their White House visit. What deserves just as much attention is that President Crybaby Chickenshit was too cowardly to even initiate a visit from the WNBA Champion Minnesota Lynx. Yes, President Crybaby Chickenshit was too scared […]

Inside a Spanish castle

Inside a Spanish castle

Marty’s photo of the day #2558: I will let a short excerpt from my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, explain this shot from Spain: If medieval real estate agents existed, they would have listed the Castillo de Monfragüe as a “starter castle.” Built in the fifteenth century, it was much […]

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

“Oh, yeah? You can’t make me not buy it!”

Despite quite literally putting a warning on both the Amazon and Goodreads pages for my science-fiction political-comedy, Time Is Irreverent, conservatives keep buying it and are then surprised when they hate it. I should have thought of this marketing tactic years ago: Tell someone not to buy your book and they go, “Oh, yeah? You […]

After hundreds of shows, the most memorable are . . .

After hundreds of shows, the most memorable are  . . .

Marty’s photo of the day #2546: I’m posting late today because, oh joy, I’ve been on airplanes since early this morning, flying from Philadelphia to Missoula. Yesterday’s show at Rowan College at Gloucester County was my last for this school year. Next year will be my twelfth of speaking at colleges. When you’ve performed hundreds […]

Greetings from beerless New Jersey

Greetings from beerless New Jersey

Greetings from New Jersey! Tomorrow, at 2:00 p.m., I have a show at Rowan College at Gloucester County. This will be my fourth time speaking at this college, which is an all-time record for me. I really enjoy these shows. The staff at Rowan are among the nicest people you could ever hope to meet […]

Dropping the nut bomb

Dropping the nut bomb

Marty’s photo of the day #2537: “That blond-haired guy with the camera is almost in the correct spot. Okay . . . just a few more feet . . . a little more . . .” (White-faced capuchin monkey, photographed in Costa Rica.)

Bizarre encounters with cops

Bizarre encounters with cops

I understand that there are dedicated, ethical cops out there. Nevertheless, I’ve had some bizarre encounters with cops over the years: When I ran the Bitterroot Baseball League and managed one of the teams, a cop who was on my team called me drunk one night and tried to intimidate me because I didn’t give […]

Who is the evil genius?

Who is the evil genius?

Every arch-criminal organization has an evil genius, but finding one in the Trump Administration is difficult: Donald Trump: Evil, but too incompetent to out-perform a lab rat in a simple test. Mike Pence: Evil yes, but how smart do you have to be when after each dastardly deed you simply say, “Jesus personally told me […]

They’re onto us!

They’re onto us!

Marty’s photo of the day #2522: The action has been slow lately on the motion-sensing camera in our front yard. I think the animals are on to us.

Foremost authority on comb-crested agamid lizards?

Foremost authority on comb-crested agamid lizards?

Marty’s photo of the day #2520: I photographed this female comb-crested agamid lizard on the island of Borneo. How do I know she’s a female? The males have a much larger comb crest. And that’s about all I know about these lizards. However, as I was typing this, I Googled the lizards’ name to make […]

Recent Posts

Categories