Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet" and "Endangered Edens."

Posts in category Humor

Blurry photo captures tribble

Blurry photo captures tribble

Marty’s photo of the day #2351: I moved my motion-sensing camera to a spot I’ve never tried before. The land surrounding our house has tons of animal trails through it, but I never know for sure what animals use a particular trail until I view the photos. This new spot is going to be a […]

The melty glacier, with text for Republicans

The melty glacier, with text for Republicans

Marty’s photo of the day #2346: This is the Bear Glacier in British Columbia. The lake at the toe of the glacier is Strohn Lake, which didn’t exist until the 1940s. I took this picture in 2002, and I’m shocked by the recent pictures of the melting glacier visitors have posted on the Internet. It’s […]

A bison as Foghorn Leghorn

A bison as Foghorn Leghorn

Marty’s photo of the day #2342: Ever since I took this photo, I have imagined this bison with the voice of Foghorn Leghorn. Can’t you just hear it? “I say, boy, pay attention when I’m talkin’ to ya, boy!”

An orange slime worm beats an orange slime ball every time!

An orange slime worm beats an orange slime ball every time!

Marty’s photo of the day #2341: Yesterday, I posted a photo of a gorgeous orange caterpillar that I photographed on the island of Borneo. In response, Cheryl Bruso commented: “Oh man beautiful picture but every time I see orange I think of . . . well, you know. Do slugs and leaches come in the color orange […]

The Trump IQ Test Winner!

The Trump IQ Test Winner!

Marty’s photo of the day #2334: As you probably heard, Psycho Don challenged Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to an IQ test contest. What you probably haven’t heard is that a third contestant entered the contest and won. I’m proud to share with you an exclusive photo of that third contestant and winner! Congratulations Mr. […]

The Republican Jesus kills Garfield

The Republican Jesus kills Garfield

Marty’s photo of the day #2331: Okay, I have to admit that life was boring around my house this past weekend. My wife was in Portland, and I spent most of my time staring at my computer screen, waiting for my editor to email me the long-overdue edits for my new book, “Time Is Irreverent.” […]

Martyman and the chicken soup mutiny

Martyman and the chicken soup mutiny

On Wednesday, my wife made me a big pot of chicken and dumpling soup, before leaving to teach weaving classes in Portland. That means it’s just the dogs, Martyman, the Republican Jesus, and me in the house until Monday. I can cook, if I have to, but I have been busy working on various projects […]

A message for the Republican Jesus

A message for the Republican Jesus

Marty’s photo of the day #2328: A message from the Republican Jesus: “Hi there! I just want to remind all of my sheep that no one, even me, can have enough firepower. Whether you own 47 guns or just 10—bring them to schools, concerts, churches, and movie theaters. You never know when you’ll get to […]

Martyman is in Puerto Rico, helping with hurricane releif efforts

Martyman is in Puerto Rico, helping with hurricane releif efforts

Martyman is now on the ground in Puerto Rico, helping with the hurricane relief efforts. He had stowed away in the carton containing the paper towels Donald Trump tossed into the crowd. When I asked Martyman how he was able to know which roll to hide in, so he’d actually be thrown by our egomaniacal […]

Satan and the NRA

Satan and the NRA

In the wake of yet another mass shooting, Senator Claire McCaskill has called on the NRA to do some “soul searching.” While I appreciate Senator McCaskill’s comments, if we wait for the NRA to find its soul, nothing will ever get done. The NRA, CEO Wayne LaPierre, and its membership all sold their souls years […]

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

Open wide, Wayne LaPierre!

When I told Martyman that it was too soon after Las Vegas to make a political statement about how easy it is to buy high-capacity, rapid-fire guns in America, he said to me, “That’s what right-wingers always say! Yet after mass shootings, what do those people do? They hurry out to buy more microphallic compensation […]

Martyman takes a knee

Martyman takes a knee

Marty’s photo of the day #2323: Martyman is in his big chair, all excited to watch the Minnesota Vikings football game. And, of course, being a political action figure, he’s taken a knee, so he can protest police brutality toward blacks, during the National Anthem. I don’t have the heart to tell him that “taking […]

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues, based on what politicians and voters write in newspaper op-eds and letters to the editor:   1) Nothing is more important than preventing undeserving people from getting something they didn’t earn (except for us, of course).   2) Any protest not intended to support our eroding white rights or Donald Trump is either […]

If a Donald Trump . . .

If a Donald Trump . . .

If a Donald Trump tweets in the night, and he doesn’t misspell any words, is he still an incompetent narcissistic psychopath?

Have you ever had a dream where . . .

Have you ever had a dream where . . .

Greetings from the New Orleans International Airport! Have you ever had a dream where you stand up in an auditorium to give a speech and have no idea what you are going to say? I had close to that today at South Louisiana Community College. I was booked to present back-to-back performances of “Around the […]

Embarrassed by President Trump

Embarrassed by President Trump

When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.

Martyman gets rich!

Martyman gets rich!

Marty’s photo of the day #2307: Martyman is all excited, because I gave him a $5,000.00 bill. “With all this money, I can impress the ladies,” he said. “Maybe I can even get a mail-order stripper-bride, just like Melania Trump! Did I say stripper? I mean ‘high-class model-bride.’” Poor Martyman is in for a letdown. […]

If my ass was going to be kicked, shouldn’t I at least deserve it?

If my ass was going to be kicked, shouldn’t I at least deserve it?

1) My wife, Deb, and I seldom argue. But when we do, she kicks my ass. I’m good at arguing points in writing, as I have a moment to think things through. In verbal arguments, I all too often come up with the perfect thing to say, ten minutes too late. 2) The two of […]

Unfortunate last names

Unfortunate last names

While I wait for the editing and cover art to be completed for my new science-fiction political-satire, Time is Irreverent, I have plenty of work to do, running my talent agency. One of those jobs includes updating my list of more than 7,000 college talent buyers. It’s a tedious task, as I have to visit […]

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Now that Donald Trump has picked Jim Bridenstine (a global warming denier with no science experience) to head NASA, he must be consistent and pick Thomas Röhler (the Olympic gold medalist javelin thrower) to be the White House proctologist.

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