Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

No oral sex for Republicans

On February 12, 1999, the vast majority of Republicans voted to convict Bill Clinton in his impeachment trial. His crime: lying about a blow job.

On February 5, 2020, every Republican except one voted to acquit Donald Trump in his impeachment trial. His crime: selling out America and withholding aid to an ally for personal gain.

Obviously, Republicans think blow jobs are much worse than being a traitor to America. So to anyone thinking of giving a Republican a blow job, remember just how disgusted Republicans are by oral sex. Please respect their heartfelt conviction on this issue: NO ORAL SEX for any Republican—EVER!

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