Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Mitt Romney knows something

Have you noticed how Mitt Romney has been stepping up his criticism of Donald “The Bedbug” Trump? While pundits speculate a variety of motives from being a patriot to just not liking Trump, I have a different theory:

Romney knows something. In fact, he’s reasonably sure that neither the Bedbug nor Mike “The Soulless One” Pence will survive to the 2020 election. Yesterday’s revealing testimony by Ukraine envoy Bill Taylor makes that more likely than ever. If the arch criminals are forced out shortly before the election, Romney will be in the best possible position to ride in on a white horse and save the GOP.

Have you noticed how Mitt Romney has been stepping up his criticism of Donald “The Bedbug” Trump? While pundits speculate a variety of motives from being a patriot to just not liking Trump, I have a different theory:

Romney knows something. In fact, he’s reasonably sure that neither the Bedbug nor Mike “The Soulless One” Pence will survive to the 2020 election. Yesterday’s revealing testimony by Ukraine envoy Bill Taylor makes that more likely than ever. If the arch criminals are forced out shortly before the election, Romney will be in the best possible position to ride in on a white horse and save the GOP.

While the Republicans have already showed their true colors by sticking with the Bedbug through his lies, hate, bigotry, insanity, and vindictiveness, thereby totally fucking themselves with American voters, Romney will give them a sliver of hope for salvation. After all, as bad as the idea of “President Romney” sounded when he ran the last time, after the Bedbug covered America with a carpet of festering red welts, the possibility of a Romney presidency would feel strangely calming to many. Kind of like white bread dipped in warm milk.

Don’t get me wrong. Romney will still lose to the Democratic nominee and America will still move on to a more enlightened future. All I’m saying is that Romney knows something—the Bedbug and the Soulless One are going down!

makes that more likely than ever. If the arch criminals are forced out shortly before the election, Romney will be in the best possible position to ride in on a white horse and save the GOP.

While the Republicans have already showed their true colors by sticking with the Bedbug through his lies, hate, bigotry, insanity, and vindictiveness, thereby totally fucking themselves with American voters, Romney will give them a sliver of hope for salvation. After all, as bad as the idea of “President Romney” sounded when he ran the last time, after the Bedbug covered America with a carpet of festering red welts, the possibility of a Romney presidency would feel strangely calming to many. Kind of like white bread dipped in warm milk.

Don’t get me wrong. Romney will still lose to the Democratic nominee and America will still move on to a more enlightened future. All I’m saying is that Romney knows something—the Bedbug and the Soulless One are going down!

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