Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author Marty Essen

Arguing a woman’s right to choose.

A few days ago, I wrote a commentary on the GOP, “God’s Own Party,” forcing their archaic abortion beliefs on women. I was shocked when multiple women posted comments, arguing that the United States should regress 46 years to the days of the coat hanger. I was even more shocked when one of them even argued that forcing a woman impregnated by rape to carry the fetus to term was a good thing.

With one woman, I tried my usual arguments: that she should keep her nose out of vaginas where she isn’t welcome, that a woman has a right to make decisions for her own body, that the Bible okays abortion and declares that life begins at first breath, that biologically a fetus is actually a parasite, etc. Eventually, I came up with a new tactic.

First I suggested that if she is really concerned about abortions, she should write members of congress and our acting-president, and ask them to fully fund birth control. Furthermore, she should also send a generous donation to Planned Parenthood, so they can supply more contraceptives. She thought that was hilarious.

Then I changed the argument slightly and suggested that she could prevent countless abortions if she volunteered to stand outside nightclubs and hand out condoms to couples as they left. She thought that was a wonderful idea and promised to do so. I asked her to send photos of her new project, and she said she would.

Whether or not the compromise we came up with actually becomes a reality, I thought I’d pass it onto you, my liberal friends. The next time someone—male or female—strikes up an argument that abortions are an abomination, ask them, “If you are so upset about abortions, and are convinced it is murder, why aren’t you volunteering to hand out condoms at nightclubs or other public gatherings? Surely, if you did that long enough, you’d save more ‘lives’ than any argument would.”

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