As a service to the American people, Martyman has volunteered to get inside Donald Trump’s head to have a look around. Let’s listen to his report:

“Hmm. . . . It’s quite empty in here. No ethics, no empathy, no intelligence. And it smells like Russian prostitute pee. Wait, the dim light coming in through his ears seems to be illuminating something. . . . This could be the find of the century! Oh, never mind. For a second I thought I’d found his ‘very big brain,’ but I was mistaken. It was just a marble-sized electronic device with the words ‘Property of Vladimir Putin’ etched into its surface. Okay, that’s all I can take for now. Get me out of here!”