Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Monthly archives for September, 2017

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot. . . .

Hey Republicans! I know you still insist that Donald Trump isn’t a bigot, and that you are not a bigot for voting for him. I also know that anything I write won’t change your mind. Nevertheless, I have to try.   Here’s what Donald Trump tweeted at 5:19 a.m. this morning: “Such poor leadership ability […]

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues on the editorial page

Republican issues, based on what politicians and voters write in newspaper op-eds and letters to the editor:   1) Nothing is more important than preventing undeserving people from getting something they didn’t earn (except for us, of course).   2) Any protest not intended to support our eroding white rights or Donald Trump is either […]

If a Donald Trump . . .

If a Donald Trump . . .

If a Donald Trump tweets in the night, and he doesn’t misspell any words, is he still an incompetent narcissistic psychopath?

Have you ever had a dream where . . .

Have you ever had a dream where . . .

Greetings from the New Orleans International Airport! Have you ever had a dream where you stand up in an auditorium to give a speech and have no idea what you are going to say? I had close to that today at South Louisiana Community College. I was booked to present back-to-back performances of “Around the […]

Goldfrapp in Seattle

Goldfrapp in Seattle

Marty’s photo of the day #2315: Deb and I are back from seeing Goldfrapp in Seattle. I have a concert DVD of the band performing in front of a huge crowd in London and have seen numerous other videos of them in large concert situations. Seeing them in a nightclub was an entirely different experience. […]

Happy Birthday Joan Jett!

Happy Birthday Joan Jett!

Marty’s photo of the day #2314: Happy birthday Joan Jett! September 22 and September 23 are memorable days for birthdays. Today is Joan Jett’s birthday, and tomorrow is Deb Essen’s and Bruce Springsteen’s birthday. My wife is a lot younger than Bruce. She’s also younger than Joan, but just how much, we’ll keep a secret. […]

Embarrassed by President Trump

Embarrassed by President Trump

When I was a child, nothing was more embarrassing than my father showing off his Christianity, by praying aloud in restaurants. Now that I am an adult, nothing is more embarrassing than “my president” showing off his ignorance, by speaking aloud at the United Nations.

Christian and Muslim terrorists

Christian and Muslim terrorists

On the heels of Republican George W. Bush attacking Iraq based on a lie, the next Republican president, Donald Trump, has threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea. Add to that the Republicans’ denial of global warming, pulling us out of the Paris Agreement, and their determination to take away health care from millions, I am […]

Martyman gets rich!

Martyman gets rich!

Marty’s photo of the day #2307: Martyman is all excited, because I gave him a $5,000.00 bill. “With all this money, I can impress the ladies,” he said. “Maybe I can even get a mail-order stripper-bride, just like Melania Trump! Did I say stripper? I mean ‘high-class model-bride.’” Poor Martyman is in for a letdown. […]

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.”

The United States and its allies will never kill “the last terrorist.” Middle Eastern terrorists will continue to attack us and our allies, as long as we have a military presence in the Middle East. If you doubt that statement, look up how many times ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or other such groups have attacked Costa Rica […]

If my ass was going to be kicked, shouldn’t I at least deserve it?

If my ass was going to be kicked, shouldn’t I at least deserve it?

1) My wife, Deb, and I seldom argue. But when we do, she kicks my ass. I’m good at arguing points in writing, as I have a moment to think things through. In verbal arguments, I all too often come up with the perfect thing to say, ten minutes too late. 2) The two of […]

Unfortunate last names

Unfortunate last names

While I wait for the editing and cover art to be completed for my new science-fiction political-satire, Time is Irreverent, I have plenty of work to do, running my talent agency. One of those jobs includes updating my list of more than 7,000 college talent buyers. It’s a tedious task, as I have to visit […]

The NFL’s Republican-style false outrage

The NFL’s Republican-style false outrage

I enjoy football, but I wish the NFL wasn’t so Republican. If a football player beats up his wife or girlfriend, he might get suspended for up to four games. If a football player beats his son bloody with a switch while claiming faith in God, the suspension will be longer, but when he comes […]

Republicans: What will it take?

Republicans: What will it take?

Gun deaths, police violence, and global warming are epidemics, solvable with commitment, ingenuity, and cooperation. Unfortunately, as long as Republicans stand in the way, solutions to those problems will remain out of America’s grasp. With that in mind, I’d like to ask Republicans, “What will it take?” From 2000 to 2015, the equivalent to one-half […]

Thursday morning cuteness

Thursday morning cuteness

Marty’s photo of the day #2298: From my motion-sensing camera in the front yard: a little cuteness for your Thursday.

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Donald Trump must be consistent!

Now that Donald Trump has picked Jim Bridenstine (a global warming denier with no science experience) to head NASA, he must be consistent and pick Thomas Röhler (the Olympic gold medalist javelin thrower) to be the White House proctologist.

Beautiful ice or clean air?

Beautiful ice or clean air?

Marty’s photo of the day #2297: I can’t remember anytime during my life where the United States has been simultaneously hit in so many directions by environmental disasters (thank the Republicans for voting against the environment at a 95% clip). If you are in the southern US, you have one huge hurricane following another. If […]

Presidenting lessons

Presidenting lessons

Obviously the presidenting lessons Obama gave Little Trumpy didn’t take. So now it’s time for an intervention. All of the living presidents need to show up at the White House, have a sit down with the little guy, and tell him that big boy presidents don’t threaten with nukes.

Arctic Red Fox

Arctic Red Fox

Marty’s photo of the day #2296: Here’s another shot from Deb’s and my canoe trip across the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. We saw this red fox far in the distance, as he hunted in a zig-zag pattern. He didn’t change is path, as he approached, and eventually zig-zagged right around us!

Canoeing the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Canoeing the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Marty’s photo of the day #2295: Yesterday I featured a photo from Antarctica, so today we will go to the opposite end of the world. This shot is from Deb’s and my canoe trip across the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The land at this spot was incredibly flat, as we were just a day from […]

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