Republican Congressman-elect Greg “The Body Slammer” Gianforte (first breath): “I take full responsibility for my actions.”
Republican Congressman-elect Greg “The Body Slammer” Gianforte (next breath): “As long as I don’t have to pose for a mug shot. That isn’t included in my responsibility. Mug shots are only for commoners. I’m a rich multimillionaire. People like me don’t pose for mug shots. Instead, we make donations that are so small that we don’t even feel them. By full responsibility, I meant only to the point that it made me feel uncomfortable. Then my work is done, and it’s onto raping the environment and tax cuts for the rich!”*
*Not an actual quote. Based on stories in multiple Montana newspapers: Gianforte’s attorneys have filed a motion to prevent Mr. Body Slammer from having his mug shot and fingerprints taken at the Gallatin County jail.