Marty’s photo of the day #2146: If you remember where we left off yesterday, Martyman had taken a terrible fall and broken off both of his legs. Fortunately, years ago, I bought a backup body, should something ever happen to the original.

As long as we were starting with a new Martyman body, I decided it would be a good time to wash his clothes. Martyman has been with me for roughly twenty years, and in that time, he has been in a New Orleans gutter, on top of an airport urinal, buried in the mud, locked in a suet feeder, in an alligator’s jaws, in the coils of multiple snakes, on a beach in Florida, on stage at a college, in an X-ray machine, inside a saxophone, and numerous other places. In all that time, neither he nor his clothes have ever been washed.

Last night we cleaned up Martyman’s act. Unfortunately, when I wasn’t looking, Martyman grabbed the Republican Jesus, to see if he could really walk on water. As you’ve probably guessed—that didn’t end well.