Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

The political beer test

Marty Essen

Every Wednesday my local newspaper, the Missoulian, and many other newspapers run a column by Rich Lowry of the National Review and Fox News. If you’ve ever read him, you already know that he has the honesty of a hooker’s orgasm and the integrity of a banker emailing you from Nigeria.

Today he started his column like this: “Hillary Clinton may be the first candidate in American history to win a contest of personalities without having one.”

In response, I would like to say that what Rich Lowry, Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, and so many other Republicans don’t understand is that being a loudmouthed lying asshole is not a trait of someone with a desirable personality. In fact, being a loudmouthed lying asshole is actually compensation for being so void inside that you actually don’t have a personality.

As for myself, I find Hillary Clinton’s personality to be fascinating and compelling. And in the “who would you rather have a beer with test,” there is no question who I would rather have a beer with . . . . Okay, actually it’s Rudy Giuliani, who I find to be the most repugnant person on Earth. I would love to have a beer with him—so I could pour it over his head after I told him exactly what I thought of him!

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