Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

Martyman the stowaway!

Martyman TSA

Marty’s photo of the day #1952: Greetings from Syracuse, New York! I arrived late last night, and at 5:00 p.m. tonight, I speak at Colgate University. I got a surprise when I opened my suitcase and found Martyman. I had intended on leaving him at home, but somehow he snuck in with all of my clothes.

The first thing Martyman did was hand me the TSA Baggage Inspection Slip and wail, “Man, that TSA agent’s hands were big and cold! But I suppose anything is better than Donald Trump’s small and clammy hands.”

“Well,” I said, “You should be glad that all he did was grope you. You could have gotten us both arrested. Hey, while you were being groped, did you ask the TSA agent why my suitcase gets inspected every time I travel?”

“Yes. And I found out it’s not me. The reason you get one of the TSA slips every trip is because you pack your suitcase with copies of your book to sell.”

“Great. So TSA doesn’t care that you were a stowaway, but they do care that I carry books in my suitcase.”

“Yeah, your books look like they could be a bomb—no pun intended—but they actually loved me. In fact, all the TSA agents stopped what they were doing and tossed me around so they could take selfies.”

“Well, okay. But next time, you could at least earn your keep and sell some of my books to the TSA agents. Then I won’t have to lug around such a heavy suitcase.”

“Yeah, I bet people would pay a lot for a book signed by Martyman. And if I kept a 20% commission, I could buy a lot of booze, and—”

“Oh, just forget it! I’ll sell the books myself. All I need is you in my suitcase with a hangover . . . or worse.”

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