Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet," "Endangered Edens," and the "Time Is Irreverent" series.

I am King Iron Bladder

Marty Essen

Greetings from the Salt Lake City International Airport I am King Iron Bladder! I had two beers in the Delta Lounge at JFK in New York City (the second one was to pour over Rudy Giuliani’s head, but when he didn’t show up, I couldn’t let it go to waste), and I made the five hour flight to Salt Lake City without leaving my seat. Okay, that’s a bit personal, but on an unexciting 14-hour-day of flights you take what you can get.

It’s so quiet here in the Salt Lake City Airport. It’s completely the opposite of JFK. My Flex Perks credit card gives me $25.00 of credit to spend whenever I fly Delta, and I have enough credit to buy one more drink (two if I want to) on the final leg of my flight. I am looking forward to drinking a nice, cold margarita. Unless, by some fluke, Rudy Giuliani ends up on the flight. Then you know where that drink is going!

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