Nature photography, political rants, and Martyman laughs from the ten-time award-winning author of "Cool Creatures, Hot Planet" and "Endangered Edens."

Why Martyman is more qualified to be president than Donald Trump

Martyman for President

Here’s why Martyman is more qualified to be president than Donald Trump:

  • Martyman may be a riot, but he’d never start a riot.
  • Martyman would tell the KKK to KMA.
  • Martyman would build a wall around Donald Trump and make Fox News pay for it!
  • Martyman wants to date Intrepidwoman; Trump wants to date his own daughter.
  • Martyman is an action figure, not a dollar figure.
  • Martyman is full of room-temperature air; Trump is full of hot air.
  • Martyman has bigger hands than Donald Trump.
  • Martyman has better hair than Donald Trump.
  • Martyman has never declared bankruptcy.
  • Martyman has never told a lie.
  • Martyman has never been endorsed by Sarah Palin.
  • Martyman has never been praised by Vladimir Putin.
  • Martyman can listen for hours without moving; Trump can’t go five minutes without screaming.
  • Martyman is a better diplomat than Donald Trump. He’s even willing pay an arm and a leg for a peaceful solution (of course, he can just buy another set of limbs later).
  • Martyman doesn’t single out groups for hate. In fact, with just a simple change of outfits and a magic marker (for adjusting his beard), he can spread the love as Muslim Martyman, Moonie Martyman, Jehovah’s Witness Martyman, Born Again Martyman, Hasidic Jew Martyman, Atheist Martyman, Gay Martyman, Construction Worker Martyman, Nudist Martyman, Mad Scientist Martyman, Spaceman Martyman, Pirate Martyman, Military Martyman, Porn Star Martyman, Steve Irwin Martyman, Professor Martyman, Explorer Martyman, Pilot Martyman, Rock Star Martyman, Policeman Martyman, Policeman-Who-Is-Really-A-Stripper Martyman, and many, many more!

 

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