Another day; another mass shooting.
But don’t worry gun owners. You’ll still be able to acquire all the firepower you need more easily than you can get a driver’s license. Because here in America we value your hobby (and your insecurities) more than we value lives. And despite the fact that countries like Australia have found a way to eliminate mass shootings, we here in America will never admit that another country can do something better than we can. Instead, we’ll solve the problem the traditional American way—by following the great deity of the sewer, Lord NRA, and lobby to arm every student, arm every teacher, arm every movie theater attendee, and now . . . arm every newscaster.
Yeah, that’ll work.